Gone Fishin'

Hailey knows nothing of the boy scouts as far as I know. In fact, she may have never even heard them mentioned until a few days ago. She certainly doesn't know what they do. Nonetheless, the entire conversation went something like this:

Drew: "I was driving behind a car today with a boy scouts sticker on the back, and I thought of my girls and suddenly realized I'd probably never have anything to do with the boy scouts again. We'll be all girl around here."

Hailey: "Daddy, I wanna go fishin'."

Up until recently, gender was a pretty fluid concept for Hailey. Sure, she has baby dolls to play with, but she also has monster trucks. I admittedly have dressed her in a plethora of pink from day one, but rest assured that, had she been a boy, I'd have bought every little pink polo shirt I could find. I just like pink. That being said, I also like being a girl, and that's inevitably going to make an impression on her.

Anyway, in the past six months or so, she's caught on to the whole gender thing. She immediately identifies if a friend is a boy or girl, and apparently she is learning what boys and girls "do" that makes them boys and girls...if you want to argue there are such things. For instance, Hailey has decided that dresses are pretty. She wants to wear a dress every day. If all of her dresses are dirty, she might consider pants, but they just aren't as fun to wear. She has also decided she needs me to do her hair. For this, I am thankful, because a pretty hairdo is also quite functional on days when I would like to see her eyes. I am also thankful for the fact that, despite her continuous attempts to define things and make sense of the world, she has not turned her nose up at certain activities. She loves to play with rocks, dig in the dirt, and kick a ball around the yard...which some might argue are "boy" activities. She also loves to put on a ballerina dress and twirl around the house.

I think in all of this, she's just being a kid. Yet, Andrew is the one she asked to take her fishing, so it must seem like a dad thing to her. I'm just glad it also seemed like a girl thing. Like, there you go Daddy...I'll show you "all girl"...I can fish, and I can even wear a dress while I do it!

I didn't go on the fishing trip really. I just showed up to take a few pictures, and went home again...but I hear they had a really good time. Hailey touched a worm, juggled some bobbers, and even helped cast. No fish were caught, but it sounds like there are more fishing trips to come, as she and Daddy had a blast, and haven't stopped talking about it since.

Little Person, Little Chair

And by the way, this is the only picture I took, despite Hailey's "smile"...which looks to me like that of someone forced to put on some cuteness for hours on end, when you and I both know she's cute no matter what. I forced nothing of the sort...she just presented a very tired, dare I say, fake, version of her ever so put on "cheese" face. Go easy on her, we have plenty of pictures that take that face beyond the realm of happy, into some kind of creepy anti-botox advertisement.
And speaking of cute...Keelyn had her two month check up the other day. All's well, by the way. During the appointment, Hailey got to sit up on the bench with Keelyn as the doctor went through the exam. This was great fun for her, minus the vaccinations, which caused more pain and suffering for Hailey than for Keelyn in a moment of sheer terror as she witnessed not one, but four vaccines! She had so much sympathy for Keelyn, it actually took Hailey longer to stop crying. But that wasn't the cute part. That was the part where I lost my mind holding two screaming girls.

The cute part goes something like this:

(Note: Hailey's ENT, who she sees every 3 months to follow up on her ear tubes, looks for butterflies in her ears when he checks them.)

Doc: Okay Hailey, now I'm gonna look for some little birdies in your sister's ears...do you think she has birdies in there?

Hailey: No, birdies are outside.

Doc: Oh, are you sure, I think I hear birdies (making whistling sound as he looks in Keelyn's ear).

Hailey: No, no, she has butterflies in her ears! Birdies are outside...you see any butterflies?

My Boat

Andrew will probably kill me for this post, but it's a funny story. Besides that, he reads this blog about once every 3 months, so by the time he knows about it, well, he'll have something else to kill me for.

It all started when my "check engine" light came on a few weeks ago. I finally got around to scheduling an appointment at the dealership to have the whole thing checked out. The mechanic assured me it would be less than 30 minutes of diagnostics, and I could then decide whether to have it fixed on the spot, or schedule another time for fixing when I didn't have to worry about the girls.

We got there at 10:00am sharp.

At 11:00, Hailey mentioned she needed to pee pee. I made the rookie mistake of encouraging her to hold it because I knew we'd surely be out of there soon. She went back to watching CNN because that's what was on there, and she was all done with the appropriate 30 minute coloring project I packed for the trip. I'm just waiting for her to start quoting Hillary.

At 11:30, he came to tell me that they had yet to find the problem, but the car was not safe to drive, and they would have a rental ready for me in 15 minutes. Great. I nursed Keelyn at that point, in total disbelief of the whole 15 minute garbage. Good thing.

So while I was nursing Keelyn, Hailey mentioned the pee pee thing again. Mind you, at home, I am a professional run-to-the-potty-and-help-toddler-climb-up-pee-and-wipe-while-nursing-with-the-other-arm-mom. I used my judgement, and asked her again to wait until I had two hands for the whole public restroom experience.

We finished nursing, and here's where I made rookie mistake number two. I asked if Hailey had to go, she said, "not any more," and I believed her. Ten minutes later we were hightailing it to the bathroom with only slightly wet pants. In all seriousness, they were dry enough she could have continued to wear them. Then again, at that point I was thinking we were going to have to move in to the dealership, so I pulled out the change of underwear I carry in the diaper bag. I know, I'm smart, right?

Not so smart. You see, I was trying to help her balance and change her pants without her bare feet touching the restroom floor. (Ugh!) This apparently was rookie mistake number three. Her balancing act wasn't what I expected, and she fell bare bottomed onto the hard tile floor! (Ouch!) I clearly remember thinking to myself...as I was using every single wipe I had with me to clean her bottom from the possible STD's lurking in the uncleaned griminess that was this floor...I should be able to laugh at this. I didn't want her feet to touch...now it's her bottom! But friends, I could not laugh. I was not laughing. I'm laughing now, but not then. Then, I was livid. My poor baby's bottom would never have met that floor if the 30 minute promise...or even the 15 minute promise 90 minutes later, was true.

Shortly thereafter, we were escorted to a very nice Cadillac with the car seats already installed. Nice, right? Wrong. This was only the car that was taking us to the rental facility where our minivan was being cleaned. I had to fight to get the car seats moved which was frustrating in and of itself. I should be able to move them, you know? I'm the mommy anyway, right? I can't though. All of my weight in Hailey's seat doesn't allow the strap to be tight enough for safety. A woman should really design these things. Another 30 minutes later, we had the car seats moved again, and we were homebound. Round trip, this was a 4 hour excursion.

Before I go further, let me just say that Hailey was an angel. I mean seriously...she took the whole thing in stride. I think I only heard her say she wanted to go home about 400 times, and she only woke Keelyn up to "play" about 20 times. Seriously...she was an angel. I thanked her the whole way home.

Oh, and I forgot to mention...the only other person in the waiting room with us was a very nice woman who happened to be a Jehovah's Witness. I considered converting right then and there just to get her to leave us alone. Hailey has the literature if you want to take a peek. The constant ticker playing somber news on CNN only fueled her argument for a better life. Ugh.

Okay, so back to our drive home. It was now nearing 2:00, and Hailey hadn't had so much as a snack since we left the house 4 hours earlier. Rookie mistake number four...why in the world didn't I pack snacks?!?! You'd think I'm new at this or something.

So here's the point of this whole long story (thanks for sticking with me, by the way)...

I called Andrew on the way to pick up some lunch before heading home. I thought he might commiserate with me, and help me feel better about the whole thing so I could move on with it. Our conversation covered the above events in similar detail. Then, I think it went something like this:

Me: "I just feel so bad for Hailey, she's gotta be starving, and she was so patient. I myself am totally hungry, bored, frustrated...and I am not two."

Him: "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven't had lunch yet either, so we're in the same boat."

Middle of the ocean. Me, the girls, and a raft with no paddle, surrounded by hungry sharks, facing a huge tidal wave. We see a cruise ship off in the distance. Calm water. Beautiful women in bikinis basking in the sun. The side of the boat reads, Andrew's Floating Fun House. These are very different boats my friends. Very different boats.

Natural Wonders

Keelyn is two months old today. It's cliche, I know, but time truly flies. Yet, when I look at how much she's changed it's hard to believe it happened in so little time. She's such a happy baby, and her ability to smile and coo at us allows her to communicate that often now. She's just as much a little miracle today when I hold her, as she was two months ago. Even though I know how she got here, and I know she's mine, it's all so hard to believe. It's just amazing how a baby becomes, well, a baby. Nature.


Yesterday evening, after a nice spring thunderstorm, we walked out on our front porch to see this. Of course, the picture doesn't do it justice, but really, nature is amazing.

Summer Nights

It's so nice to be back in the swing of our normal evening rituals now that it's warm and light after dinner. A few nights ago, we hit the golf course for a little play time...we miss you Belasco's.

First, Hailey filled every divot, that may or may not have already been there, with sand from the "sand box" they must have put there especially for her.
When Daddy was done driving some balls, (he argues that this is the only way they will get to the green for her to putt...never mind that we could simply place them there) Hailey raced up to play some golf.
She was distracted momentarily...first by her Dirty Dancing moment on the bridge...watch out Jennifer Grey...
...Then, by her need to rake sand.
But, alas, she hit some balls...and so did her Daddy.
This evening we went for a walk instead. This is what I hear...all...day...long... Seriously, she never stops with her cute little stories.

There's a Man in the Doorway

"Mommy, what's that guy do'nin'?"

This is the question Hailey asks me regularly as she rounds the corner from the kitchen or living room into our hallway downstairs. She sees a guy there often. Apparently a scary guy. He stops her dead in her tracks...sometimes she even backs up and goes a different direction.

Imaginary friends are common among kids Hailey's age or a little older, but I was only aware of the good kind. The kind that takes the heat for a toddler when she spills something on the floor. The kind that comforts a toddler when she needs a friend to ride on the back of her little car.

This guy is bad. I don't know what he's "do'nin'" because I can't see him. She can see him, but apparently doesn't know what he's "do'nin'" either...so what's a mom to do?

Mind you, I have an incredibly wild imagination. I can't watch anything even remotely scary to an average person without having nightmares of my own for weeks on end. When I say nightmares, I mean irrational, impossible, ridiculous "fantasies" that fill my mind for all of my waking hours, and keep me from sleeping during my sleeping hours. My imagination goes far beyond a written story line, and I have learned over the years just to steer clear. I have even considered sending networks letters of complaint for the completely terrifying trailers they run on television for the thrillers they promote. I can't handle the trailers...a movie would probably cause a nervous break down.

I made the mistake of listening to the Kiss the Girls book on tape in a car ride one time, and literally didn't sleep for weeks. When I was about five years old, my parents took me to see E.T. All jokes aside, I slept with my head under the covers for fear that little friendly alien was in my closet for at least three years. Every night. You have no idea.

God love her, I think Hailey has been blessed with my imagination.

So here I am...the "adult" in this situation, trying to calm my daughter and act like there's no one there and it's no big deal, all the while, completely freaked out long after she has forgotten her most recent sighting and moved on to playing her piano or cooking in her kitchen.

All I can think about is this: What IS that guy do'nin', and why is he in my house!?!?

Joyful Noise

Beyond the Paci Popping

For me, there is truly nothing that can make me feel warm inside in a more overwhelmingly wonderful way than seeing my baby smile when she is first learning who I am. It's a completely addicting feeling, and one that I live for right now.

What never occurred to me during my second pregnancy, was that Hailey would live for this as well. Keelyn is, after all, her baby too. And Hailey is one of Keelyn's "people"...just like her parents who she has known from day one...she has the bonus of a big sister. I just never realized they would love each other so quickly.

When we first brought Keelyn home, Hailey wanted to hold her constantly, and she still does. But she has also learned to do things like pop a paci in Keelyn's mouth if she loses it, jump around with a toy if she needs entertainment, and rock her bouncer if she seems upset. Hailey has learned to read Keelyn's signs, just as Andrew and I have. The other day I actually caught her licking her finger to wipe a smudge off of Keelyn's face. She sings her songs, reads her books, and genuinely cares about her happiness. Seven weeks ago, Hailey loved her by default...and in this short little time, she has also decided in her little mind that she will actively love her. This isn't something I anticipated, and it just melts my heart.

What melts my heart more is that Keelyn appreciates it. I think she gives Hailey that "I know you and I love you" smile more often than she does me sometimes. The second she sees her big sister, she's all grins. It's totally awesome. I am so excited for them. As their mom, it's so great to know that they have each other...and I love that I am already seeing that they think it's great to have each other as well.

SOCKS!!!!!!!!!

At night, Hailey will find just about anything hilarious. Lately, it's been the word "socks." Oh, to be 2...and a half as of tomorrow.

Things That Make Me Smile

Aside from this just being an all around adorable picture of Hailey, I'd like you to note that she has her cow, CoCo, in the sling. She also nurses CoCo...Ironic?
Hailey pays no mind to the fact that Keelyn is too young to "play" with toys...she brings her things all day to play with. Here is Keelyn, sound asleep in the sling. Hailey also thinks it's important that Keelyn learns at a young age that sleep is better with stuffed animals, so she stuffs the sling at every opportunity. What a great big sister.
Again...What a great big sister.
The new favorite at our house is painting...all...day...long. God love crayola washables.
And finally, a smile!!! Keelyn's been smiling for a couple of weeks, but the acrobatics I have to do to get the camera at the right second while paying attention to both kids hadn't served me well until today. Isn't she beautiful?

Paying for Baby

I got a letter in the mail from the hospital where Keelyn was born. It was worded like one of those hokey sweepstakes things you get that says: call within 24 hours, and you're a winner!!!...and you know you're really not, so you throw it in the trash. It gave me seven days.

Quick glimpse into our house...Andrew works from 6:00am until 6:30 or 7:00pm. I am at home with a newborn baby and a toddler. Right now there is laundry in my washer that has been for a day and needs to go in the dryer, there are three loads of dry laundry to be folded, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, and that's just the daily stuff. There are bills to be paid, light bulbs to change, a dishwasher to fix, and more. If you don't have kids, that may seem crazy...but it's pretty normal based on my assessment of other mommies of new ones...give me three months, and we'll be back on track again.

Anyway...all of this means that when I got the bill from the hospital, I opened it, looked at the bottom line, and set it aside in the big stack of others that need to be paid. Yesterday I read it. Call within seven days of receiving the bill and find out about an incentive plan.

An incentive plan???? From the hospital???? Where their primary concern is to save lives and promote a healthy society???

So I called...10 days late. I learned through my telephone conversation that, had I called in time, I would have been offered a percentage off on my bill. That's right...the amount of money so carefully negotiated by my health insurance company, and then printed in red right there on the bill I got in the mail...that's not the lowest amount the hospital is actually willing to take for services rendered.

The part that really ruffled my feathers is that the woman in billing was not able to share with me exactly what that incentive percentage is because I missed the deadline. Sound a little fishy to you? Sounds like a promise they aren't expecting to keep to me. Who has time, after a major surgery, accident, illness, or childbirth, to give the hospital a ring within one week, sit on hold for 30 minutes, and shoot the breeze with someone who actually has no bearing on the decision regarding the amount on that bill? Really, answer that question for me. There's a spot for your comment at the end of my post.

I pay my bills on time, and have no problem taking the responsibility to pay them in full. But this is making me squirm. I now know, that a phone call made AFTER services had already been rendered (and prices negotiated), within a certain random allotted amount of time, could have saved me an undisclosed amount of money. This, from a reputable institution where well respected doctors and nurses provide quality health care for their patients.

At the end of the day, it's just a business. It's like buying a car.

My question now is this: What is the actual lowest price they are willing to take for birthing my baby? Why is that not the price negotiated with my health insurance company, and moreover, why is that not the price printed in bright red on my bill? And if the purpose is to get people to pay on time, why is the incentive not based on when payment is received, rather than a phone call...and why is that incentive not printed on my bill for me to see, rather than some sort of secret I have to break out of a phone call?

Last year we paid nearly $10,000 in medical bills, copays, prescription drug costs, and insurance premiums...out of pocket. We are not particularly sick people. We do not have a particularly large income. We were not particularly happy with the health insurance company, and the services we received from them for that hefty sum. We were also not particularly impressed by hospital itself, though our doctors were amazing. But our doctors have already been paid. This bill is to go directly to the hospital...and we're getting played.