A Moment in Time

I look at this face, and it makes me smile. I love this age. I love the affection, the determination, the independence, the thought. When I look at Keelyn, somewhere in my heart I am able to enjoy the memories of another little person.
This little person. I can remember her own affection, determination, and heart.
She's not the same little person any more, though little, none the less. But different. She's older. I watched her come running at me, full force down the backyard yesterday, and I was immediately taken back to a memory of her about two years ago, doing the exact same thing. That same big smile, pouring out giggles and silliness. The same feeling in my own heart, knowing how lucky I was that she...this amazing gift...was running to me. As her body crashed into mine, I found myself in the moment...now holding a 3 1/2 year old girl. How quickly that time passed.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I might have thought, had someone told me my senior year of high school, that this is where I'd be a mere ten years later. That I'd have a husband and two daughters. That I'd be worried about paying bills, and installing car seats, and children's Benadryl. That I'd have friends who've lost babies, who've been divorced, who've moved across the ocean. The truth is that it would have been overwhelming for my 18 year old mind.

And so is the thought that my little 14 month old, who is now gleefully running in that same backyard, will in two years be another version of the big sister she follows. That she'll be talking, and whining, and dancing, and inventing questions to ask about the world. And that the big sister will be a new version of herself by then...one my imagination cannot fathom.

This is my make up drawer.
It was recently invaded by all manner of chapstick available on the market, necessary for application while Mommy does the same, in a more grown up fashion. A few days ago, Hailey quietly helped me get ready for an evening with Andrew, as she selected my shoes, commented on my clothing choices, and joined me in my primping rituals. In that moment, I caught a glimpse of that version of her waiting in the wings. That sweet smile that she'll carry through her life, that cute voice and delicate touch that she's had since she began. I really can wait to meet her. I'm not in a hurry at all. If I could freeze her this way forever, I might.
But I know I'll keep saying that. And I know that each moment in her life will bring something new and beautiful. For now, for both my girls, I'm just happy they're them.