When the contractor comes to visit, he might as well stay a while.

So our contractor...the one who replaced our kitchen floor when we had a massive sink leak...the one who replaced ventilation on our roof when we had a massive roof leak...apparently brings leaks when he comes by.

Like, if we think his name, maybe there's a leak. Like, leaks are his specialty, and he enjoys working in our home. Like, when it rains, it's not really raining, it's just another massive leak.

He came to install a new microwave today. Our old one broke a few months ago. Well, kind of. It broke enough that we wanted a new one, but not enough that a little tape couldn't keep it in working order for life's necessities in the meantime. Yes, tape. And I used clear packing tape, so as to not totally ruin the aesthetics. Never mind the gentle touch with which you had to push the release button so that the door would actually open, while also not sending said release button flying across the kitchen.

So, we decided to buy one for over the range, and free up some counter space, since my tape job did not carry a lifetime warranty.

Anyway, I had to work hard to get this microwave. In fact, the guy at the appliance store wouldn't let me buy it at first. I think he must have been up for some sort of award or something. That, or Jiminy Cricket actually lives on his shoulder. I couldn't for the life of me get him to go back to the storage and get one for me to take home, before I went home myself and measured to make sure that the area I knew for sure was big enough, was in fact big enough.

And, in case you are wondering, it was big enough. With room to spare.

So, another trip out there, and we had a microwave. The contractor came today to complete what should have been about a 30 minute installation. Except apparently our builder did not have Jiminy Cricket on his shoulder, and we found that much of our stove ventilation was held together by some tape and staples a preschooler could have done more neatly. I bet if I had looked hard enough, I could have found a wad of gum.

I should have taken a picture. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I tell you that, so you understand, that two hours later, the microwave was still being installed. The contractor was working on some project that might even baffle the guys at NASA, which involved fitting a circle into a square hole, while singing his ABC's and standing on one foot. Backwards. This delay meant that Andrew was outside grilling dinner, which he never would have done otherwise.

So, I guess in many ways, we are lucky the dudes who built our house graduated from a good preschool so that the microwave install could take 4 times longer than normal, so that we would need to cook outside, so that we would find this problem that must be fixed right now, while the contractor just happens to be around.

What problem, you ask?

Any guesses? I bet it's a leak.

Ooh!

I just bet it is.

Drew comes in and says, "Hey, whatever you're doing is making the heat vent outside go crazy."

Contractor: "Nothing is turned on."

Drew: "Come look."

Men walk out laughing. Men walk in not laughing. With wet feet. Massive water heater leak. Water is turned off. Contractor is at hardware store. Cha-Ching! It's going to be a long night. Maybe while he's here, he can fix the light switch, redo the weather stripping on the back door, and paint the front porch trim. Wonder how much he charges for an all-nighter.

But hey, our microwave looks spectacular.