The Details

So I kind of wanted to just document some of the details of Keelyn's birthday, even if I'm the only person who cares they're up here.

First, you should know that I just spent about TWO FULL HOURS trying to get my video camera to load to my computer, and after ripping the cords out, vigorously tearing the camera to shreds with my teeth, and hanging myself with the tape from the VCD, there is no video to be seen. No worries, you can still view it if you want to come to my house and crowd behind the two square inch screen on the back of my camera, but video of Keelyn stuffing an entire cupcake in her mouth all in one bite is apparently not destined to make you laugh unless you are willing to go to such lengths.

So, for the other stuff...the details...

The invitation...
My springtime inspiration...these tulips are just like the ones we had when Keelyn was born last year, and I just love the way it makes me feel now to have them in the house again.
The food table...
The favors for the kiddos who partied with us...(inside: springtime coloring books and crayons and bubbles for big kids, bath time books and bubbles for babies)...flowers to personalize each bag...
The cupcakes...each decorated with a "flower" I made using two gumdrops...

And for the final detail...one that didn't quite make it to the party...the details of a year.

It's a funny story, really. I created a slide show of Hailey's first year of life for her first birthday, and burned it to DVD to play on a loop during her party. I never looked at it even once while we were visiting with everyone, but when the house had cleared, I realized that it hadn't burned properly, and it was looping the same two pictures the entire time! Two pictures, mind you, that included me, swollen and exhausted, having just given birth.

So this time around I was determined to get it right. And I had the whole slide show created a week ahead of time. Only it wouldn't identify all of the files. So I removed some. Then it wouldn't burn to DVD. So I saved it to be read on my computer. Only that didn't do me any good for the party. So there was no slide show at all...not even two bad pictures.

So...Here it is, minus the images I had to remove to get it to save properly...and at lightning speed because it was too long for YouTube, and I'll be damned if I was doing the whole thing over again, so it's at half time...and without music, because, well, I'm spent! So...take a deep breath, play your favorite song in your head, and whatever you do, don't blink! Enjoy!

Money makes the world go 'round, world go 'round...

...money, money, money, money...

Leave it to Broadway to frame my thoughts right now. I can think of nothing else.

If you ask my grandma about the Depression, she'll tell you stories of her dad looking for work...of darning socks to keep them new...of making sandwiches for men wandering door to door for food as they offered their skills. From her life, she can tell stories of rationing, and her basement can tell stories of a generation of people who learned to never let go of anything. Everything has value. Every thing accumulated represents hard work.

I feel like lately money has been the only topic of conversation. Even if we're talking about kids, or food, or the weather, the subtext is money.

Sadly, money has been the reason for a few disappointments lately, and added stress to some situations that were beyond our control anyway. Money is the reason I've been losing sleep. Money is the reason I've eaten nearly a pound of M&M's this week.

It's weird to feel this way. To feel it getting the best of me. To feel it draining my energy.

I grew up comfortably. My parents provided us with everything we needed, and a lot of things we wanted. But they taught us to be frugal and responsible and to appreciate everything. They taught us to work for things. In these lessons though, I never really learned to worry about money. I never feared we'd run out. Perhaps in the days when money was quite tight, I was too young to be aware...much like now with my own kids. I'm thankful for that.

Still, we live in a small house that we have mostly outgrown, and most of the clothes I wear are at least five years old, if not dating all the way back to high school. That's all okay with me. It's been a conscious decision. Had we waited longer to have children, or had I gone back to work, we might have a bigger house, and I might have clothes that aren't so faded. Hailey told me today that we need to be sure to ask Santa for some new socks for Mommy next year, because all of Mommy's socks have holes in them...and she's right. They do. Every last pair. And I'd like a bigger house, if we're making a list for Santa. But I would never trade new socks for even one warm, melting hug with my kids.

We don't really know the extent to which this whole money crisis will hit us directly. We have many friends who've lost their jobs, or been cut back to less work for less money. We have regular conversations about what we're going to do if Andrew loses his job. About a month ago, we thought he might, but somehow things have hung on. Yesterday we learned that two weeks time could reveal a different story.

It's like we're just sitting on a teeter-totter, waiting for some kid to jump on the high side and throw us out of the gravitational atmosphere. We'd be floating around with nowhere to go. No severance. No health insurance. No car. No savings (at least not any worth counting on).

So far, the extent to which this whole money crisis has hit us looks nominal on the outside. We're still here, after all. Still living normally. But on the inside, I'm a wreck. I've been searching for writing jobs like crazy. I actually got one...writing grants for a non-profit organization...but I only make money if I win grants...so good luck to me! In a different economy, I'd find a better paying job (even though I happen to be very excited about this new gig). In a different economy, Andrew would be making more money, and business would be rolling in as it should.

It's terrifying to think that one or both of us could be forced to find something different to do with our time in order for our family to survive. It's terrifying to think that the hospital bills from Hailey's scare a few weeks ago could send us over the edge. It's terrifying to think that this whole situation has gotten so out of hand, and so huge, that it is something we'll have to tell our kids about some day...even if Andrew manages to hang on.

I guess that's why I felt I had to write about it. We'll be telling our kids about this one day. About the way spending got out of hand, and greed got the best of us as a country. The way bigger became better before it became impossible.

We've got a big mess here. I've got the holes in my socks to prove it. If only Santa had the answer.

Keelyn's First Birthday Celebration

For Keelyn's birthday, we enjoyed a day with family and friends. We decorated the house for Spring, because that's what Keelyn brought for us. My mom gave us tulips when we came home from the hospital, and I will forever associate the coming of beautiful flowers with the birth of our beautiful daughter.

Keelyn was dolled up in party gear for her special day.

Hailey got her own special new dress for the party as well...and loved dancing around in it all day.

Two pretty girls...

Social butterfly...

When it came to cake, Keelyn did not disappoint. She picked up her entire cupcake and shoved it in her mouth.

We all looked on as she worked on it for a while.

She left no piece behind...and took her time.

Then she ate the crumbs that fell to the floor...

It was a beautiful day, and some of the big kids enjoyed the yard.

Keelyn got really into the present opening. She actually opened them all...with a little help that is.

Here she is carrying what was apparently her favorite outfit of the day. She carried it around and showed it to everyone for about ten minutes.

Then she sat down with it, and checked it out some more.

Then she enjoyed a nice ride down her new slide.

And rested for a quick photo...oooooooooh she's cute!
Later she went through all of her gifts using her new favorite words..."Dis?"...and "Dat?"...to which she expects explanation and acknowledgement of whatever she chooses to point out.
I took the girls for a fun ride in their new wagon...
...and then they finished the day off playing together with all their new toys...thanks to a lot of great friends and family who brought thoughtful gifts for them.

I cried last night when I put the birthday girl down for bed. For the first time, she actually walked to her bookshelf as we were getting ready to nurse, and pulled a book down and brought it to me to read. I asked if she wanted to read Goodnight Moon, as we have every night since she started sleeping in the crib, and she shook her head to say no. Seriously. All grown up little person here. Cute, cute, cute little person.

Happy Birthday, Keelyn!

Dear Keelyn,I face today with sadness, as I say goodbye to the delicate infant you were such a short while ago, and with excitement, as I look forward to learning more about who you are meant to become. Today, you turn one.As I take time to reflect on the past year, I feel I can recall nearly every single day, as not one has been insignificant. The moments of the day you were born, and those surrounding it, are ingrained in my body and mind forever. I can feel the anticipation. I can feel the moments right before you entered the world. I can feel the warmth of your skin the first time I held you in my arms.
I can recall your breathing sounds when you laid next to me, quiet moments as you slept, your tiny body as it was for so long. I remember how early I could see your personality emerging, strong-willed, affectionate, patient, and brave. I know how you smelled, the satin of your skin, and the warmth of your gaze. I remember how incredible it felt to see you in the arms of your big sister…my two girls.
You rushed us right on through this year. Stroller rides for miles have been replaced by time to run around the back yard. Naps on the go have been replaced by your own need for structure. Around the clock nursing has been replaced by a love of Cheerio’s, bananas, black beans, and cheese. Late night television and cuddle time has been replaced by a 7pm bedtime routine. Fuzzy baby hair has been replaced by little curls as they creep in. Your quiet little whimper has been replaced by babbles and laughter.
You wasted no time learning to sit, crawl, or walk. You wasted no time finding some independence. You also hate being alone, though you’ll play on your own forever with someone close by. You are curious. You are strong. You are busy.
You love your family. You are happiest when Mommy, Daddy, and Hailey are all close by. You love being outside. When you can’t be outside, you spend lots of time standing at the window, looking out. You love giving kisses. You love to dance. You love to play like Hailey. You love your pacifier, and your Emmit, and your blankie. You love to wake up at 4am to come cuddle with Mommy and Daddy. You love cuddling with Hailey, dancing with Hailey, squealing with Hailey, and everything that has anything to do with Hailey. You love feeling proud, and show your satisfaction as you learn new skills so happily. You love taking baths. You love being tickled. You love making a mess. You love music and singing with Mommy. You love it when Daddy gets home from work, and you rush to him for hugs. You love lying in bed and talking to me in the darkness of morning before we get up. When I think of the joy you have brought to my life, I can’t possibly harness it with words. I live for your laughter. I live for your kisses. I live for the wholeness you brought to our family. I live for you.
When I think of you, all I feel is happiness. You are a happy, happy child, and you deserve the world. Thank you for sharing your happiness with me. I fall more and more in love with you every single day.
Happy first birthday, Keeksie.

Love,
Mama

Learning to Talk

We've seen some interesting developments here in the Plunkett household the past few weeks.

Up until recently, Hailey's "l's" sounded like a "y"...as in bayoon, and puyyup. Then, suddenly a couple weeks ago, she developed her own version of compensation. It was gapoon, gopice, gemote, gapade, and so on.

(There's a prize to the first person who correctly identifies those words.)

(Not really.)

(But you should try anyway, I'm interested in your guesses.)

Anyway, apparently that was her mind's way of dealing with it's own little milestone, because today she saw a tulip in the front yard, she did some ballet, and we ordered balloons for Keelyn's birthday. Yay, Hailey! Soon, other people will begin to understand what you say! (Most people do now, but they have to listen vewy caifuyyee.) I'm gonna miss the cute little language when it's all gone though.

Also, Keelyn started speaking some words beyond Mama and Dada. Her babbling has picked up a ton, and a few days ago, she said book. Yesterday, I got her on video saying cat!

(Please ignore my overzealous idiotness as I try to coax it out of her for the camera. Of course, this was easier when the cat was in the room, before I hit her with performance anxiety.)

(If you can't ignore my idiotness, please refrain from watching.)

(Or just make fun of me when you leave your comments below.)

(Really.)


Cat was one of Hailey's first words, too. Who knew when little kitten Diva came into my life nine years ago, she'd be inspiring my kids to talk!

A Year of Sisterhood

Keelyn will turn one this Saturday. Wow. When I sit and really think about how much our lives have changed since she was born, it's amazing.I was less aware of the differences with her than I was with Hailey. Going from one to two seemed like a much more natural transition than going from none to one. But she's changed us all, none the less.And perhaps she has changed Hailey the most.I have found so much joy throughout this year seeing the love oozing out of Hailey for her yitta baby sista. I've watched them share the excitement of new experiences.I've watched them share excitement for one another.I've watched them entertain each other.I've watched them love.I've watched them laugh.I've watched them play. And I've watched them become friends. I can't imagine my life without the two of them and the joy they bring me together. And I can't imagine either of their lives without the other. I remember how intimidated I was, during my pregnancy with Keelyn, by the unknown of what it would be like raising two...loving two. Now I see there was nothing to worry about. These two were meant for me, and meant for each other. The rest just works out.

The Rules of the Game

A few weeks ago, Hailey, Keelyn, and I took Cooper to the park for some play time, despite the then cold weather. Hailey'd been dying to take her Uncle Coopie there since he was home, so we bundled up and went. It was nice being the only people there. This, of course, because we were the only people dumb enough to walk to the playground in 30 degree weather. But it was sunny, I tell you! And they were wearing coats. And hats.

Anyway, given some time to warm up (pun alert!), Hailey decided to climb up and go down the slide. This is a big deal for her. Managing the climb of the stairs, the height of the platform, and the ride down is extremely intimidating for her. But she did it. And then she did it again and again with a smile on her face. We were all very proud. Her included.

Okay. So today was beautiful, and Hailey woke up asking for the park straight out of bed. We finally made it there about 4:30 this afternoon, and we were NOT the only people there. Not at all.

There were kids running a muck. Running. Screaming. Climbing. Flipping. Et al.

From a distance, Hailey was pleased with the show before her. Up close, not so much.

But oh, how she wanted to visit her slide again. So I gently encouraged her around to the steps, and then told her I'd meet her at the bottom. I watched from a distance as she began her climb. As I mentioned, the climb is the part that's most difficult for her.

There was an annoying boy at the top of the steps aiming his hands like a gun at her, and shouting, "bang, bang!" This, I realize, is more offensive to me than perhaps it should be, but alas, I was miffed. Then, a girl about her size ran up from behind her and pushed her arm out of the way half way up the stairs while saying, "move out of my way."

You've got to be kidding, I thought to myself. Where are her parents?

Um. Okay. In case you were wondering, the parents were flirting with each other on the other side of the park, paying absolutely no attention at all. Big surprise, right? I know kids will be kids, but I get my back up about stuff like this for Hailey's sake because I know how hard it is for her to enter this situation in the first place.

So the girl heads up and over the slide, but the boy spreads his body across the platform, looks at Hailey, and says, "You aren't coming up here. Not allowed." Hailey turned and looked at me, the wind gone from her sails. The excitement on her face turned to fear.

I looked at that kid, and for some reason, for a split second, even I was intimidated by his trigger fingers and ill attitude. But then I realized I'm 10 times his age and I could eat him for breakfast.

I hate disciplining other people's kids. I don't want anyone to do it for Hailey or Keelyn, and I just prefer parents take responsibility for their own in the way they prefer to do it. I guess that's what was intimidating to me. But his mom was laughing it up with girly-go-pushy's dad, and I was it for the old people. "I'm sorry, but I think this slide is for all the kids on the playground. Do you mind if Hailey has a turn?" Of course I kept the you aren't being very nice to my adorable daughter comments to myself. But still, for whatever reason, that was an uncomfortable step for me to take.

It was, however, effective. He scurried away down the slide and ran off to shoot down other kids who weren't armed with parents for protection. Hailey needed a little reassurance, but she eventually got back to climbing, and took herself down the slide.

She even went down multiple times that required passing the same boy on his perch. She went fearlessly.

In theory, I'm a fan of letting kids work things out with their peers. I'm not always going to be on the playground, and not all kids are going to be nice. But she's three. And today, I kind of felt like the two of us fought a battle together. I cleared the way, and she was brave enough to pummel through. I think it was hard for both of us. An opportunity for growth.

When we were picking out our bedtime story tonight, Hailey picked the Dora Manners book. She told me it was because "the girl at the park was not very nice and she didn't say 'excuse me' when she passed by." (Never mind the fact she tried to knock her over!) She went on to tell me how nice some of her other friends are, and why. It made me feel so good for her to recognize that.

The lessons are there at such a young age. I'm so proud of her for taking the time to learn them. It's sad that she has to learn now that not everyone bothers with respecting others. I know she's not perfect. I know she'll probably push somebody sometime. But I hope that I am paying enough attention to teach her what she needs to learn...both how to stand up for herself, and how to do it in a polite fashion.

S is for Socks

Hailey has loved books and reading since pretty much forever. From baby, to toddler, to now, there's never really been a phase where she wouldn't sit for hours on my lap and listen to stories or "read" them to me. Here she is at about 10 months old.
Just for kicks, here is Keelyn, also at 10 months old. Though I have to say, she's a little more interested in attempting to carry as many books as possible around the house...a little less interested in looking at them. Oh, and then there's stacking the books, moving the books, eating the books, and more carrying the books. Every once in a while, she'll stop long enough for me to read a few pages. Lately she has been bringing them to me and sitting down with them...so I think we'll get there soon.

Anyway, point of my story...

Hailey has lately become interested in the words, and how I know what the pages say, and how I read the letters, etc. She's pretty good with the alphabet and phonetics (though lower case letters are still tricky). So today we sat down with a picture book that just labels objects with a single word underneath.

I was going through the book with her...

"See Hailey, that's a duck. 'D' says duh...duh...duh...duck. Guh, guh, guh, Green," and so forth.

We did this for many pictures before coming to socks, which for some reason is her all time favorite word ever. She seemed to be understanding the practice, so I decided to let her try one.

"Okay, Hailey...what letter is that?"

"S."

"What does 'S' say?"

"Ssssssss."

"Right, try to read the word."

"Muh, muh, muh, Socks!"

Not sure we're quite ready for this yet.

The day we lost Emmit, and met the imposter.

If you know my kids, you know lovies are a big part of our daily lives. Hailey started with something small, and then moved onto her blankie when she got to be about 9 months old. She dropped her "snuggly bear" and stuck with blankie...for life, I think.

Keelyn started out with Emmit, as shown above, at just a few days old. At about 9 months, I gave her a blankie, which she also loves. She has decided to stick with both.

She frequently carries them around the house with her, though if only one is available, she'll settle. Emmit is her one of choice.

Last week, we took Emmit to the mall. He was chillin' with her in the stroller, snacking and occasionally riding in a Cheerio-smothered grip, dangling alongside the armrest. I was keeping a close eye. Somewhere between the shoes and children's clothing in a department store, he went AWOL.

I freaked, as any responsible mother would. I knew full-well what this meant. A frantic search up and down every aisle, tracing our every prior step. I was on that like ketchup on a french fry. Whiskers on a cat. Bad metaphors on a blog.

At this point we'd been shopping about an hour...and Hailey had been walking. Of all days for me to bring the single stroller. We spent the next full hour searching...her on my back for much of the time, to ease her tired legs, and also, more importantly, so that we could go faster. We even retraced some of our steps up and down the entire length of the mall TWICE.

NO EMMIT.

No sign of him at all. Not even a Cheerio.

After a mournful conversation with Andrew, and another, more frantic one with my mom, we decided to leave the mall. Sans Emmit.

I'd done what I could. I couldn't believe it. I knew it could not have been long between when he was ejected, and when I noticed his absence, but still, he remained missing.

You have to understand, I wasn't only concerned about Keelyn's ability to adapt to her loss...I was also sad to see something so special to her from such an early age disappear. I keep things like this. They're important to me.

When I got home, I tried one last attempt, and called mall security. THEY HAD HIM. Emmit had been picked up by a concerned mother, and turned in for safe keeping! This likely happened right after he fell from the stroller, and had I thought of checking there earlier, I'd have saved myself a lot of time searching for an Emmit who'd already been saved...but let's focus on the positive here.

HE. WAS. FOUND.

A few hours later, Andrew returned to the mall to pick up one tired, lonely Emmit. He filled out the necessary paperwork (Yes, really.) required to reclaim lost things, and he brought the duck home for a good bath and a snuggly nite-nite.

Meanwhile, my mom went to the store and bought a second, just in case he wasn't found...and we kept him just in case this happens again. As you can see, our Emmit has had lots of love. So much so that his fur is matted in just a year's time. And the more obvious...He's BALD.
Keelyn plays with both, but she still has her preference. She still knows which guy's the real deal. And she likes him the way he is. If she comes across the new guy, she carries him until she finds her beloved, and drops him like garbage. So number two sleeps in her crib 24/7, in hopes that a bond will form, just in case.Thank goodness she and Emmit have been reunited. I'll definitely need to pay this one forward.