The amount of research a parent would have to do is alarming. The fact that it's expected and not just taken care of for us is degrading.
I admit, one can get carried away with the natural stuff. You have to have more time and money than I have, to go totally organic, made from scratch, crunchy-munchy-all-the-time. I respect it, but can't do it. It's possible, but not practical.
We choose our battles here. We do organic milk, because it's consumed by the girls gallon by gallon, and because the hormone thing scares me to pieces. But we buy regular meat, because we aren't growing money trees out back. Our cups are all BPA free, as of last summer when the shit hit the fan on that one. We avoid high fructose corn syrup when we can, and try not to dwell on the one cup of Yoplait yogurt I ate each day of my pregnancy with Keelyn, which apparently contains mercury. And I'm supposed to be comforted by the suggestion that it's only small traces. Like any traces are okay. I limited my fish consumption, all the while eating mercury laden yogurt. And I'm not alone.
We've seriously considered moving to the boonies, buying some chickens, and calling it a day. But then, there'd be some sort of coup to keep, I imagine. And I've never thought of myself as much of a coup keeper.
It's interesting, really. The consumers kind of won the BPA thing. The media made a big deal of it, despite the FDA's continuous claim that the plastic was safe (this, determined by a study conducted by the plastics industry). But when consumers made angry phone calls, and sent angry letters...and when the Born Free website was out of stock on every cup...other manufacturers realized the demand, and one year later it's difficult to find a cup in Target that doesn't display a screaming bright notice that it is, in fact, BPA free. Now, the FDA admits there may be relevance to the rumors. They're looking into it...but I'm not holding my breath.
So, why then, pray tell, does the FDA not respond to the threats presented by particular food additives and dyes? And further, why do the manufacturers not do it for them? And if you don't know why I'm asking these questions, then you probably qualify as one of the many parents who doesn't have the time to look into all of these things...what, with the kids, and laundry, and life, and dishes, and life, and jobs, and oh yeah, kids...until they're staring you down.
I was stared down cold on Sunday. We first offered Keelyn Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese a few months ago, alongside Big Sissy who could pretty much live off the stuff. We noticed that her face got a little blotchy around the mouth, but honestly thought it to be contact dermatitis in a kid just a little young for the greasiness. Didn't seem to bother her, but was concerning when it happened a bit more severely, on another occasion. So, we gave it a few months. Sunday, we tried again. This time, her face was covered in hives. Big, itchy, welty hives. This, about 30 seconds after eating only 10 noodles. A few seconds and some gagging later, we gave her Benadryl, and she was fine within minutes.
Our doctor had mentioned based on my previous concern, that there is the possibility of food dye allergies, but generally this is in kids with asthma, and other allergies as well. After raiding our pantry and fridge, to find that in fact, nothing else she's ever eaten contains Yellow 5, I headed for the computer for some validation. I was blown away.
I was amazed. Disgusted. Kinda mad. But not surprised.
I think I might remember hearing about this randomly a few years back. I'm familiar with the thought that there is a possible link between popular food dyes and hyperactivity...I even know parents who swear by it, with their own children to prove it. But an allergy? One that can't just be argued away by saying that there could be other causes, or that the studies aren't conclusive? One that is plastered across the mouth of a child, staring me in the face, red and blotchy, with tears in her eyes? One that is apparently "uncommon" as in only 1 in 10,000 people have it...but is common enough (and concern enough) that the FDA requires it to be listed on food labels, tested by them before distribution, and the Food Standards Agency even calls for voluntary removal in foods by 2009? It's 2009!
This is madness.
And don't get me started on the countries who have already banned its use. What? Are they just smarter than us? More concerned for their citizens? Dare I say, less concerned for the big guy who wants to make the cheapest stuff he can at the threat of our children? How is this any different than allowing toxins in paint and baby formula?
And, why is the suggestion for removal merely voluntary? Why does the food have to be that yellow? Annie's makes great organic mac 'n' cheese, sans the tartrazine. My kids love it. It's still yellow. It just costs more.
So I guess I just don't get it. If it's possible to make foods without additives that have adverse affects on a large enough portion of the population that I can find information on it so quickly, why the additives? Cost isn't the answer. Remove the additives, settle for pasta that's a little less yellow, and save a step in the whole manufacturing process...SAVE money. Right? It seems so logical.
It's kind of like salt. If you never use it, you taste the food for what it is, and your palette adjusts. I'd imagine the eyes of a three year old would adjust as well. But how will a three year old adjust to having to forgo a treat in preschool because she's allergic? And why, in a society that knows your kids should no longer drink from a garden hose, do we allow such new things to be introduced into our foods and beverages? Sure, our parents survived it, and my grandma used to play with mercury as a kid...but we know better.
And we don't need yellow pasta.
Why should my daughter, along with many others, spend her whole life avoiding something so unnecessary in the first place?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
After a while, I'm numb to the insult.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Gushing with Gratitude
There's a button over there on the left of this here blog. Click on it, and you'll find all of the instructions for participation, as well as code for your own button!!! (Thank you Toby!!!) I hope you'll join me in this fun project!
So, what am I gushing about this week other than the really cool set up we now have for the gushing posts?
First of all, I gushed at the absolute cuteness that was Hailey this past week. Every day when we got dressed, she'd say to me, "Mommy, I don't think I need a bow today, how about a tiara instead?" And she wore a tiara through the day. She has many, so as not to get bored with it all.
Second of all, and equally cute...in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday, before Big Sissy awoke, Keelyn brought me the Minnie Mouse dress, usually reserved for Hailey, and asked me to put it on her. She regularly requests fairy wings, but this was a new one. The conversation went something like...Keelyn walked to me with the dress, nodded her head, and said, "Gunkh." To which I replied, "Do you want to wear this?" To which she replied, "Yeah," which happens to be her favorite word, with a huge nod and smile. Willfully, she stuck her head through the layers of tulle and satin, and pushed her tiny arms through the puffy sleeves. Then, she admired herself in the mirror, in the darkness of the morning, enjoying some time with mommy, indulging in Sissy's things.
And. There was that moment when Hailey woke up from her nap yesterday, and asked me to come cuddle in bed with her a bit. And the time we had strolling this week, something I've missed during the cold months. The completion of something I've been working hard on for my job. The completion, with a little...and I mean very little...help from my brother, of an entire tub of cookie dough. And another quiet Sunday upon us, with welcome gray skies outside, and time with family ahead. So much to be thankful for.Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Eww. Just eww.
So today we went to a nearby park. And there's never anyone there. Some friends came along. And there was this one other little girl. Who had a cold. And she, and our friend Blake, and Hailey were standing in a circle.
I heard someone sneeze. I could see Hailey wiping her face with her sleeves, out of the corner of my eye.
"Hailey, did you sneeze?"
"No, I need a tissue."
"Okay, but who sneezed...did you sneeze?"
As she continued wiping snot off of her face, shaking her hands in disgust, she pointed and said, "No, that girl did."
I'm not making this up people. She had someone else's snot all over her face. Yellow, sticky, snot.
The jacket with the now dirty sleeves is in the washer. I used every wipe in my pack to clean her face and hands while we were there. Now I'll just sit back and wait for the cold to set in. A yellow, sticky, cold.
Ugh. You have no idea how much this makes me shutter. Eww. Eww. Eww.
Eww.
And again. Just Eww.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Gushing with Gratitude
**UPDATED**
To catch up on how this whole thing got started, click here. To participate, follow instructions below. Thanks for joining in!
To add the Gushing with Gratitude image into your own blog at the top of your gushing entry, copy the HTML below and paste it in your blog's post editing window or "Misc Text" box. You'll want to be sure you're posting this code in the "Edit HTML" view rather than the "Compose" or "Visual" view of your editor.
It should look like this (it will actually be a link to all of the gushing posts here!):
It should look like this:
This week I'm Gushing with Gratitude! That means I'm taking a little time to reflect on my favorite moments from the week past, and I'm sharing them with you and other readers of Life Delicious, created by Mama Cass. You can visit Life Delicious to read her gushing post, along with others.
And that's all you have to do! Be sure you come back to my site once you have written your own post, and list your post on my comments section (and make sure it's the URL for the specific gushing post you want to share). If you have any questions or need help, please email me (cassidyplunkett(at)hotmail(dot)com) any time!
**END UPDATE**
Okay, so this week, I was going to give you everything you need to join me in a weekly gush session.
First, there's this lovely gushing button:
BUT, it's not a button yet, per se. Just a pretty little picture with calming blue tones and flowers to make you think of Spring, because that's what I'm grateful for. So we'll get to that. For now, you can always copy and paste that image to the top of your blog entry, but it won't take your readers anywhere spectacular yet.Second, there's this quick little explanation of things to put at the beginning of your entry:
This week I'm Gushing with Gratitude! That means I'm taking a little time to reflect on my favorite moments from the week past, and I'm sharing them with you and other readers of Life Delicious, created by Mama Cass. You can visit Life Delicious to read her gushing post, along with others.
Eventually, you should be able to just copy and past the above text (with links!) into the HTML format on your blog at the beginning of your entry, and then write your own gushing post. So far, I haven't figured out how to make it so that you can copy and paste without setting up the links on my own site...bluh.
Then, don't forget to leave a link to your post in my comments this week to share with others. Still no Mister Linky. I'm hoping to get him up and running when the button is set. There's been a lot going on around here at Chez Deliciousness this week, and for now, this will have to do.
So, huh. I guess really nothing is done yet. I bet you wonder what I do all day.
BUT...I hope you'll consider participating with me this week, and thanks to the people who did last week...I loved reading all of them, and hope you'll consider sharing your links!
Okay. So. On with it, eh?
This week is one of those where I really need this exercise to keep me grounded...
1. I am so thankful that my husband has a job. It pays money. We can eat. 'Nough said.
2. Ooh, how nice it was to share a day with some of our very best friends...you know who you are, and we wish you were here.
3. That moment when Hailey dropped all that she was doing to walk over and give me a kiss.
4. Keelyn's natural weaning process. It's best that it's easy, even though it makes me miss her.
5. The five gazillion, three-hundred and forty-two million wagon rides we took last week, and the two happy kids bumping along together.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
It ain't easy being weaned.
I remember very clearly, the 5th day of Keelyn's life.
She was born on a Thursday, we came home on Saturday, and on Monday morning, I was alone. Alone with my two daughters, anyway. My mom planned to come help out for the day, but around here, we rise in time to watch the sun peak out across the ground each morning, so she hadn't made it over yet.
I thought I was fine. I scooped my newborn baby up in my arms, carried her as I got Hailey out of bed, to the potty, and downstairs. We watched a cartoon. Hailey drank her OJ. Keelyn nursed. It was time to make breakfast.
I laid Keelyn down in the bouncer, as Hailey wanted an egg. I opened the fridge. I couldn't find the butter. Where was the butter? How could someone leave me alone for the first day without butter? Or moreover, how could someone possibly have left my too-incompetent-to-remember-to-stock-the-fridge-with-butter-before-birthing-a-baby self alone with two children? What was I going to do? Tears flowed over my cheeks like our whole home had just spontaneously turned to dust. This. Over butter.
Obviously that was hormones taking over...and, if you must know, the butter was right in front of me. At the time though, that was not funny.
Now, here I am, a whole year later, and still finding things to cry about. Would ya look at her? She's a regular peach, no? Certifiably cute. What could I possibly have to be upset over?
It's this whole weaning thing. I'm sure I went through this with Hailey, and I apparently blocked it from my permanent memory. Thank goodness I blog now, right? I mean, I wouldn't want to forget a time in my life when I felt miserable, now would I? Better write this junk down!
I'm not miserable all the time, just at the times when she should be nursing, and is instead walking, dancing, singing, reading, or any other -ing she can think of that does not start with nurs.
I had kind of been toying with the idea of maybe starting to hint at possibly weaning. But I was by no means committed. And, silly me, I thought she'd nurse forever until I suggested otherwise. So, I just cut out the 9am(ish) feeding, which was really more of a snack, and often got missed anyway if we were out and about...and I replaced it with a big girl snack like Hailey, and a cup of soy milk. No problem.
Except.
Apparently she likes the freedom or something? Apparently she just hadn't realized yet that other food could now be used instead of sitting around with that nuisance of a boob attached to that Mommy lady who always wants hugs and kisses when there are toys to be played with. And books. Books to be read.
Here we are two weeks later, and it's all I can do just to suggest that she might consider nursing for 30 seconds or so before nap to take the edge off for me. And she even acts like she's doing me a favor. It's like, okay, I guess, but just for a minute. I do have things to get to around here you know. And I'm all, well gee, thanks, glad I could be there for you those first 12 months. Check ya later. And then I go cry.
There are a few times when she'll still nurse whole-heartedly. They are half-way through her nap when she wakes up from the crib, and comes to fall back asleep on the couch in my lap...and half-way through the night (somewhere around 4am) when she wakes up from the crib, and comes to fall asleep in our bed. Both of those feedings are ones I'd kind of like to drop for obvious reasons...yet I suddenly feel myself in not so much of a hurry. She grabbed the bull by the horns on this one. It's all her. And so I figure, in due time. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy what's left of my baby.
Monday, March 16, 2009
What Hailey's been getting into.
It has been raining for days and days and days and days. Days, I tell you. My kids were going crazy. Or maybe that was me. I don't know. We just had to get out of the house, is all. Someone in the house was going crazy.
So rain doesn't keep crazy people couped up for too long. Hailey got all dressed up for splashing...but first a photo opp...
...and another.
Then we headed for the puddles...
While Keelyn watched from a carrier. Her deal: No nap = Only happy when cuddling with Mommy. (I believe she was one of the ones going crazy, begging for outside time.) She did look mighty interested in puddle jumping, so maybe next time.
See? Doesn't it look fun?
And the jumping!
So, what else has Hailey been getting into, other than puddles she'd have never touched a few years ago, for fear of getting WET, and COLD, and YUCKY, and the WIND, and the RAINDROPS on my HAIR, and EEEWWWWWW!!!
We seem to have rounded a very pleasant corner into Copingville, where all things sensory have become at least moderately tolerable. In the past week, Hailey has (1) walked in Target without holding my hand on the tile floors!!!, (2) stayed in the bathroom while I blew out my hair, (3) helped Nana use the electric beaters to make cake, (4) climbed the ladder and went down the big kids slide all by herself over and over again with no help at all, AND (5) stood on the scale SOLO at the doctor's office. These things are HUGE for her (and she knows it!).
So, the perfect ending to a rainy weekend of roguish puddle jumping and other such incredible independent feats...cake in the living room! She's lovin' it!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Gushing with Gratitude
The thing is, I’m not really a mushy-gushy kind of person. I’m a realist. I see the good and the bad. I can usually help my friends find the good in their lives, but in my own life, I have a tendency to worry about the bad, if left alone with my thoughts. Bluh.
Every night before bed, as a part of our night time prayers, we talk with Hailey about our favorite parts of the day. It’s a real simple way to help a three year old reflect a bit about how great her life is…to appreciate a beautiful moment here and there…and to share it, and give thanks for it.
This simple process has taught me that it’s not a practice only helpful to a three year old. Spending those few moments of reflection each day helps me too! (Big shock, right? I think Oprah’s been telling me this for years.) The cool thing is that once you know you are going to talk about your favorite moments, you start to look for them as they’re happening, and appreciate everything a little more.
Enter my Gushing With Gratitude idea.
Here’s what I’m going to do:
Every Sunday, I’m going to sit down and share a few little moments I am particularly thankful for from the previous week. Simple.
The great part is, I want you to join me. Come on, get excited! Get pumped! Get on board! (Is it working? Are you in yet?... I can keep going...)
How wonderful would it be to sit down at the end of each week, and read happy moments from other people’s lives, while reflecting on your own? We’re gonna get some free therapy on over here! Happy people…I’m gonna help you all be happy people! (Okay, maybe that's a big, broad goal, but hey, we can try!)
I'm still working on the logistics, but hopefully by next Sunday, you'll be able to visit my site and grab a little button to put on your own blog that will link back to me. Then you can enter your Gushing URL for the week on mine using Mister Linky, and we'll have a nice little list (hopefully one that will grow with time as your own readers join in) of other Gushing blogs to read. If you don't have a blog, I will gladly accept notes of gratitude in my comments section...and for now, if you want to share your entry for this week (or until Mister Linky becomes my friend), you can enter your URL in my comments too...the URL for that specific entry, please.
Questions or suggestions as I'm ironing things out here are welcome. For now, I hope you'll give this a try as a commitment to yourself to note all the wonderful things around you...at least on a weekly basis!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Guest Post over at Praise Baby
If you haven’t noticed it before now…check out the pretty little button over there to the right that says “I’m a Praise Baby Blogger.”
BooMama, who keeps a very funny blog that I happen to read regularly, set up this great opportunity for other blogging mommies and daddies to guest-write for a blog on the site for Praise Baby. Anyway, I am one of those mommies, and my post can be read here now.
Go there and read my post along with other great ones...and listen to some fun music for you kids!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Somehow I have already failed her.
We have a few regular visitors around here in our land of make-believe. Donald, Daisy, Mickey, and Minnie come by on occasion. I am often dubbed Cinderella, along with my friends Belle, and her little sister Sleeping Beauty. Hailey has three babies who she cares for both in and out of her tummy regularly...their names are Oicee Saks, Acee Mark, and Icee. They are all twin girls. Soon she will have another baby named Sparkles. He is a boy, and he will be born with lots and lots of beautiful hair, and possibly even a hair bow.
Max and Ruby are also popular visitors in our house. In fact, I believe they were the first "imaginary" friends to join us. They're often quite helpful. For instance, if Hailey wants company in the bathroom and I am busy making lunch, she will just let Max come with her. They are also often a source of frustration. In a negotiation attempt, I will hear, "But Max's mommy lets him eat candy, so I want some candy too." Try telling a three year old that you don't care what Max's mommy lets him do because you have different rules, without feeling like a complete idiot.
Anyway, here's the conversation we had today:
Hailey: I need a check-up, Mommy. Ruby is the nurse, and Max is the doctor.
Me: What about if Max is the nurse, and Ruby is the doctor? Can we do it that way instead?
Hailey: Well... (her eyes roll back in her head a minute as she thinks it over)...then she drops the bomb...
Max is a boy, so he can be the doctor, and Ruby is a girl so she has to be the nurse. Okay? That's how it will be.
That she even thought it is horrible. That she was able to articulate her reasoning is shameful.
This is worse than The Bachelor changing his mind. This is worse than the fact that I know The Bachelor changed his mind. This is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS.
Excuse me while I go hurl, curse society, and then lie on the bathroom floor and rethink my entire parenting strategy.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The way she needs me
One of the things I've struggled with most as a mother to Keelyn, is her level of independence at an early age. As soon as she could crawl, which was early, she was crawling away from me. It brings me inexplicable joy to watch her wander off and explore things...to solve little problems on her own...to amuse herself sometimes even to the point of laughter. She keeps me close by, but she likes to go off and do. And my emotions are mixed on that one. There are days when a little more cuddle time would be nice...she's still a baby, after all.
At the moment, she happens to be very sick. A harmless little cold decided to plant itself in her sinuses, and cause a lot of pain and fever. The first antibiotic didn't sit well, so we are on to the second. For about 72 hours now, she has wanted no one but me. And when I say "the past 72 hours," I don't mean except for when she's sleeping or eating...I mean for all 72 of those hours, she has wanted me, and only me.
At about 11pm last night, I found myself sharing a few tears with her as she cried inconsolably. I was just as exhausted, just as frustrated, just as concerned. My back hurt. My arms were tired. The pile of papers in front of my computer that hadn't been touched all week was threatening to spontaneously disorganize if I didn't get to it NOW.
But as she finally calmed herself to sleep in my arms, I found myself so grateful for the moment. There she was, sharing her breath with me, her head on my shoulder. Her own little shoulders melting into the bed as her body let go of the fight. Her little fingers rubbing mine as she closed her eyes. Her body curled up against me, just as she laid as a newborn. Her satin blankie covering us both, keeping our warmth in.
For the past 72 hours she has needed me in a way only a baby can need her mommy. Soon she'll be better, and perhaps I'll be more grateful than ever for her busy little body running around the house away from me again. But these moments are precious. The opportunity to be needed in this way is precious. The possibility of caring in this way is precious.
Right now she's asleep in her crib for the first time in days. And. I. Miss. Her.