Summer Fun!

Swimming in a Sea of Quickbooks that are Not so Quick.

It's kind of a sad day in my world, when I pull down my history to visit Blogger, and it's so far down I can't find it, forcing me to type (god forbid) the URL into my terribly over-worked navigational bar. Oh, Navigational Bar, I've wronged you. I know you care nothing for landscaping, but apparently, for the time being, it is my life. The summer has been crazy. There was a visit with Grandma, then the beach trip, then more visiting with Grandma (all of which was awesome), then another beach trip, then job quitting, then people to talk with, checks to write, things to buy, papers to sign, stuff to do, and a business to start.
Our dining room looks like a big monster dump truck drove through the front of the house and dumped the entire City of Raleigh's supply of papers and books right there on our table, while "neatly" placing extra golf clubs, winter coats, and some pictures on the floor skirting the table. And that's basically what happened. Except of course the dump truck didn't exactly drive through the front of the house. But there was a truck, and it might have been of the dumping variety if need be, and it left a bunch of cadywompus nonsense (and other more important things) for us to find a place for.

Which we do not have.

And by the way, did you know my husband went to college to learn to draw and color? Yeah, it's true. He's very good at it, too. You should see the Amazingly Huge Pile of Drawings all over my dining room. Maybe we will wallpaper the house. Every single room. It's a landscaper's dream.

And by the way again, if you are not from the south, you may not be familiar with the term "cadywompus" but it is in fact a term, and Blogger does not know it, so the suggestion was "cutworms" which I think is very funny, because they could in fact be living among that mess and we would have NO IDEA!! (Want to come to my house?) (Actually, I wouldn't want you to see it.) (Unless you are coming over to help clean.)

(Pause for adorable smile.)
Then, there's the whole getting a business started part. In case you aren't familiar, that actually is short for Spending Every Waking Moment Of Your Life Doing Something Business Related (comma) Even Waking Moments When You Should Otherwise Be Sleeping.

(Pause for interpretive dance pose.)

We're getting there. We've been so lucky to get so much work coming our way right from the beginning, but it's left us frazzled. There will be work tomorrow, but Sunday we will rest...and CLEAN UP THIS HOUSE, or so help my tired soul. Normal will come soon. Until then, Blogger, oh loyal Navigational Bar, and Dining Room Table, please forgive us, for we are providing answers to some very pressing landscaping emergencies.

Book of Days

I remember being young enough that it was new, and old enough to appreciate becoming older. There used to be a Bennigan's on Six Forks. It's long been closed, grounded, and it's now taking on a new life as a high rise condominium building for people who've probably never actually set foot in a Bennigan's.

But it was there. And there we went for Rebecca's sixteenth birthday in a July too many years ago. It was just a bunch of girls. Full of giggles. I was about three years younger than her, but we were close friends. They made her stand on the table while they sang to her, and she smiled a cocktail of embarrassment and sheer joy, and it was in moments like that, that I knew why she and I were kindred spirits. That moment, and many others. Like the times we spent sitting in my driveway once she got her license, talking for hours instead of going inside after dance rehearsals.

She taught me to appreciate quotes and words and astrological signs. She taught me to do a backward shoulder roll. She taught me how to be kind. She showed me the kind of person I wanted to grow into. She taught me how to tan with Banana Boat Number 2 tanning oil. She led by example, and taught me how to see the bigger picture, to find the good in people, and to smile even when it's hard. She taught me that even good people have to skip class once in a while to shop at SteinMart. She helped me laugh during some of the most difficult times in my life.

Then, she became one.

I'll never forget the day my mom and grandmother showed up during third period dance class to pull me out and give me the news. The dance studio sat in a loft above the gymnasium. As my knees hit the floor, I heard my voice echo across the basketball players below. My body started shaking. I weighed 400 pounds. I could have just stayed there for hours.

The last time I saw Rebecca was the day before she left for Florida for college. She came by my house to say goodbye, and to give me some old clothes of hers she wouldn't be taking with her. We hugged, said we'd visit at Thanksgiving when she came home, and bid farewell. She gave me something called an email address, which I was supposed to use to keep in touch with her. That was the first email address I ever saw, and I never used it.

We exchanged a few letters. The last one I got from her, she wrote sitting on the beach. She'd just been cast in a show she was thrilled to be a part of. The quote she wrote on the outside of the letter read: When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. -Helen Keller

I still stare at the closed door that was her life. Her days ended too early. At college, she contracted mono, and though she came home for medical treatment a few days before Thanksgiving, that would be her last holiday. I never got to see her. She was too sick.

I remember being so frustrated as we drove to visit her parents and to see other friends who were grieving. We passed houses with Christmas lights, and I knew then what I still know...I can't see Christmas lights without remembering that awful day, when Christmas lights seemed so out of place. There was just no room in my heart for joy. And for me, there's always a bit of Christmas in July. It's a month full of memories of her. Summer dance competitions and late night conversations. Her birthdays together.

I still have the clothes she gave me. I wear a t-shirt of hers regularly, so worn that the hole in the armpit is large enough for my head. But I wear it to be close to her. I wear it to remind me how to see the good she saw in people...the good she brought out of people. I wear it to remind me to speak her name, and keep her alive. And I guess that's why I'm sharing, too.

I talk to her regularly, and I believe she listens. She was my guardian angel when she was here, and I don't see any reason that would change. Rebecca, your book of days lives on through me. I am so grateful for the memories I have of you, for knowing what a friend should be, and for the imprints you melted into my heart.

Because we need a new lawn mower anyway.

So I'm having a moment. Or, lately, moments. I was flipping through pictures, and I realized something. I realized they don't look like this any more.I realized, that until looking at these pictures which force me to face the growth that has happened minute by minute over the last nine months since they were taken, the kids hadn't changed an ounce in my mind.

Time just blows through like a hurricane these days. And apparently, it takes chubby cheeks right along with it. Looking at these makes me wish that hiding in a bathroom with a weather radio and snacks would make things stand still. But it's not that kind of hurricane. It's more like the kind that blows through without a care, and takes whatever it can with it. It doesn't look back at pictures.

I guess that's why we decided that the crazy idea we started talking about five years ago...the one where we start our own business and hope the American Dream colors us in...was a good one to bring to life right now. Despite the economy. Despite the fact that we have more responsibilities now than ever. Despite the drought that looms over our area, threatening to replay the difficulties of last year.

Five years is long enough to talk about something...each year seeing more opportunities slip by. Each year, feeling like we should have just done it the last. Each year, feeling like we might have been happier if. When I think of how fast the nine months has gone since those pictures were taken, it physically hurts.

The thing is, in a lot of ways, Andrew has already started and run two landscaping companies. The second time, much more so than the first. Those particular "lots of ways" just didn't include us paying for things...minor discrepancy, right?

So, perhaps it's those chubby cheeks that are turning into college-tuition-needing-blush-covered-apples faster that we can say slow down. Or, perhaps it's the thought that this is truly the best way to take care of our family. Or, perhaps it's years of frustration and responsibility for nothing. Probably a bit of all of those things led us to the decision to start back at square one...and do it on our own. That, and blind faith.

Yesterday, I woke up with a pit in my stomach. You know the kind. Full of nerves. Full of unknown. Way too full to eat. I wasn't sure how to read it. I felt excited. I felt scared. Andrew quit his job. A job he created for himself out of a passion for landscaping. A job that, over the last few months, has changed to something different, and also become something that no longer provided for our family adequately. A job that has caused enough stress that it made the decision to leave a little easier. In many ways, I was thankful for that stress. It pushed us to a place we may otherwise have not been brave enough to go.

After he quit, the pit in my stomach went away. I felt joy. I felt confidence in him and his ability to pull this off. We can pull this off. It can be what our family needs. It can be an investment that will provide Andrew with a job he loves, and us with the life we want to have. It's not going to be easy. But it's all for us, and right now, that's what matters.

So, the company is called Oak City Landscaping, for our beloved city of Raleigh, the City of Oaks. The website, though still much under construction, will be http://www.oakcitylandscaping.com/. Andrew is quite skilled at what he does. He graduated from NCSU with a BS in Horticulture, Concentration in Landscape Design. He is a certified Landscape Contractor, and holds a host of other certifications in his field. He knows the area well, can provide immaculate maintenance, and creates beautiful designs and landscapes for those who want them...from patios, to plantings, to ponds, and lighting. His clients love working with him because he loves what he does. I truly believe in him, and in our ability to run a successful business. It's very exciting! Wish us luck!

Life Lessons

Everything you need to know in life, you can learn at the library.

1. Books are FUN! (And so are little tables with little chairs for little people.)2. If your mommy brings the camera, you must participate, hand motions and all.
3. All you need is love...particularly that which comes in the form of kisses blown from the lips of a one year old.

Or was this a game of peek-a-boo?

In that case...

3a. When hiding your eyes, don't forget to cover them.

4. Good things come to those who wait.

5. It's good to reach for things that seem out of reach.

6. There's strength in numbers.

7. And, possibly the most important lesson, if you are talking on your cell phone when it's time for stamps, the librarian might eat you, or at the very least, burn you with her eyes.

Just some notes...

Keelyn: (Pointing with intent.) Luh-le.

Me: Hailey, aren't you so excited that Keelyn finally has a name for you?

Hailey: Yeah, but I thought she was going to call me Princess! Maybe when she's six she can do that.

Apparently she never let go of that idea.

***

I realized looking at the calendar today, that Hailey is a mere three months away from being four. FOUR. As in her birth was four years ago. As in one quarter of her way to the driver's seat of a very beaten up, very rusty, not-going-over-30mph, ugly-so-her-friends-won't-want-to-ride-in-it, car. As in she's been peeing on the potty for almost half her life now. She has an opinion about everything, a question about everything, and a question about the answer to the first one.

And while we're talking about nice square numbers, Keelyn is 16 months old. And basically, she wants to be Hailey, and all of her almost-fourness.

***

Hailey loves to have "special time" with Mommy and Daddy in the evenings after Keelyn goes to bed...even if we are just cleaning up.

Keelyn currently walks around the house with a blankie, two Emmits, and Emmit's cousin Bunny. On a rough day, she also carries Baby Tilley, and a bunny blanket. Paci or milk in mouth. If you are picturing a tiny person with way too much stuff to manage and more time being spent balancing objects than actually getting somewhere, you've got it.

Hailey rarely wears normal clothes around the house. Normal for her is a princess or fairy dress, with matching shoes and jewelry.

Both kids carry handbags everywhere...full of important things, of course. Like play food. Or seashells. Or stickers. You know, in case the need arises.

Keelyn loves to run and hide from me. She thinks it's very funny. Sometimes it freaks me out because I can't find her. Don't ask me why. There are only so many places she can go in the 700 square feet she has on our chosen floor at any given time.

Hailey loves chocolate milk. And all fruit. And fruit, dipped in chocolate.

Keelyn loves cheese, which she is no longer supposed to be eating, so that's unfortunate.
**The short story here, since I mentioned it... apparently I was wrong. Basically, after a fun little trip to the allergist, we now know that she is in fact allergic to milk, and also eggs (though all the other original positives, were negative). Apparently she gets hives with only some cheeses because of the fermentation process, and the proteins produced. And there's the yellow dye thing, but we won't know that conclusively until she grows out of the milk allergy...which she's expected to do in the next few years. So, even though she seems to tolerate white cheeses, organic yogurts, and scrambled eggs, we are supposed to cut them out of her diet. Fun for a little one who wants everything her sister has. I'm trying to get creative. Thank goodness for soy.

Back to the fun stuff...

Hailey would watch So You Think You Can Dance, or Dancing with the Stars, over any cartoon, any day. She knows the names of the styles, and she critiques the dancers.

Keelyn loves Mickey Mouse.

Hailey likes to tell stories. Especially ones about things that happened a long, long time ago.

Keelyn likes to take my hand and guide me around the house to show me what she needs. This usually involves the refrigerator or the pantry.

Hailey knows the schedule, and she keeps up with plans. If we veer away, she calls us on it. If we forget something at the grocery store, she calls us on it. If we make a promise, she holds us to it.

Keelyn is extremely perceptive. She knows exactly what's going on, and makes herself a part of it. The other day, I was buying Hailey a new pair of sneakers. We tried a few pairs on, picked the favorite, and tried to continue shopping. Then I got a nudge from the little one in front of me, grunting as she showed me her foot. "Do you want a new pair too?" I asked. "Yeah!" she squealed. And we left the store with two new pairs of shoes, for two happy girls, after she tried each pair on and picked her favorite, just like Hailey.

Hailey regularly fills me in on what Keelyn's thinking. It's adorable.

Keelyn likes to count to two. It's particularly amusing when I am in the process of counting to three as a discipline tactic, and she chimes in with a smile. Kinda hard to enforce things when I'm laughing.

Hailey loves to perform. She dances for us every day.

Keelyn would spend her entire day outside if possible. She would never, ever come in.

Both girls love to snuggle. They love to sit on my lap and read. They love to sing. They love to do projects together (like pulling all of the toys out of a particular box and throwing them about as quickly as possible) (or, like jumping across the pillows on the floor) (or, like helping me fold...and unfold...laundry).

Keelyn loves to pretend to cook in the play kitchen.

Hailey loves to play with play-doh, or color, or draw, or paint.

Keelyn absolutely adores her big sister, and mimics her every move.

Hailey adores her little sister, and pours on hugs and kisses so thick sometimes they hurt.

***

Don't know why, but I just had some random things I needed to write down. While I'm covering the random...also...it was a year ago that I gave my blog this look and name, and since then, I've added a lot of ways for you to easily keep up. Just in case you haven't noticed, on the right, there are many options...you can sign up for email feed, subscribe through your own blog reader, or become a follower through Blogger. So please, feel free to add yourself to a list if you would like! Thanks for keeping up with me and my crazy kids. It's such a treat to write about them!

The view from my lap.

Happy Fourth of July!

Back to the Beach

For some reason, my dear friend Jaclyn thought it would be a good idea if my kids and I joined her with her kids for a few days at the beach during the week while the daddies were working. Apparently for the same unknown reason, I agreed.

Before I cover all the fun we had, allow me to illustrate the sleeping situation.

8:30pm: Seemed like a good time for Jaclyn and Co. to retire to their bedroom, leaving Hailey, Keelyn and myself to the pull-out in the living room.

8:35pm: I pull out the sofa, and Keelyn loses her mind. What I mean by this is...she climbed up and began running a muck and refusing to listen to reason. She was squealing with laughter and delight. Her arms were in the air. Her head was bobbing side to side. It was like some sort of spare energy had been released. Energy that had been saved just for this very moment...her first chance to dance on a pull-out sofa. Apparently she thought a pull-out meant a party.

8:45pm: Hailey begins falling asleep, while Keelyn perches happily across the back of the couch, intermittently diving across Hailey's pillow in attempts to annoy her.

9:00pm: I remove Keelyn from her party bed, and begin pacing the floor to help her find a calm place. I wish I'd remembered my Ergo.

9:05pm: Keelyn begins picking my nose. And laughing. She's right up in my face. Forcing eye contact. She's teasing me. Trying to get me to laugh too.

9:10pm: Keelyn practices her counting skills on my ears. "One...TWO!!!" (which happens to be as high as she can count). My arms begin to feel tired, like they might not be up for this.

9:15pm: Keelyn decides pulling my hair would be more fun than nose picking, and does so with a vengeance. I get frustrated and contemplate driving home. She laughs at my threat.

9:20pm: Keelyn begins resting her head on my shoulder and breathing heavily.

9:21pm: Hailey loudly asks me if Keelyn is asleep, and Keelyn responds with a "NO" loud enough to wake the neighbors, followed by a desperate and frantic attempt to climb back into bed with Hailey in order to pull her much longer, more interesting hair. We start over.

9:30pm: I have to pee. Rookie mistake, I know. Keelyn comes along of course....laughing all the way.

9:31pm: We start over.

9:45pm: Keelyn is finally making a home for her head on my shoulder with more permanent intent. I am staring at the clock. I am certain my arms will fall off now. I envision them hitting the floor. She would laugh at me. Then she'd run in the corner dragging them behind her and hiding so I can't get them back. And I won't be able to get them back, because my hands are attached, so I have nothing to grab them with. She'll be counting them, "one, TWO!"

9:46pm: Hailey asks another question. I snap at her.

9:47ish: I feel horrible. I sit beside Hailey to rub her tummy and help her fall asleep. Keelyn leans over and pulls her hair. I stand up. We start over.

10:00pm: The kids are asleep. I lay down.

3:00am: Keelyn awakens. She immediately stands up and attempts to run across the bed.

3:01am: See 9:00pm...and repeat through 9:21pm until 5:45am.

5:45am: She's finally back asleep.

6:20am: Hailey wakes up, and we begin our day.

At nap time, I opened the aforementioned party bed, and Keelyn immediately jumped up, accompanied by a devilish giggle, ran full force into the cushions at the back, went air born, and landed in the middle of the bed on her back. This was followed by uncontrollable fits of laughter. I'm not exactly sure where this came from, but apparently this bed was just the best thing she'd ever known...and also my worst nightmare.

Except not.

She did take a nap. Eventually. And the next night, I began my pacing later, left the TV on longer, and found us all sleeping peacefully earlier, and through the night. The kids even cuddled each other all night, which was breath taking for me...really. It's a wonderful feeling to share a bed with your children I think. It's a wonderful thing to feel each other sleep.

Jaclyn and I had a blast with the kids. The kids had a blast with each other. We got some time to have real conversations that weren't rushed to fit into a one hour play date, and the kids got so attached there were tears when it was time to go. I was proud of us for getting by without the daddies, and for giving our kids an experience that reminds me of why it's so special that I am home with them right now. We are so lucky to be able to take off and head to the beach on a whim for a few days mid-week. And we are so lucky to have such wonderful life-long friends.

Jaclyn and I held both of each other's babies within 24 hours of their births. We've known each other since middle school, and it's just wonderful to be sharing this amazing part of our lives together...and to see our kids growing to care for one another too.

And so, I know that was a lot of detail, and then a lot of sappy, but that was our trip. We had so much fun. I'd do it again and again, hair pulling, couch bouncing, and all.

Here's Keelyn identifying her perch on night one...already drunk with laughter.

Night two: Shown here, Hailey, sound asleep. Keelyn, wide awake.

Keelyn, Elizabeth, Hailey, and Connor, after a long morning on the beach. See how tired Keelyn appears? It's a trick. A mere minutes later she would stun masses of people with her skills as she ricochets off the couch cushions and lands not-so-gracefully, but ever-so-gleefully on her back.

Loving their beach time.Apparently the most fun to be had is in the act of repeatedly filling large buckets with ocean water, and taking turns dumping them on each other while completing various poses in the sand. This occupied hours.

Two beauties posing for a photo.

And, me and my girls!