We're Baaaaack!!!

Did you know we left? Maybe the lack of blogging lately was a sign we were gone? Come on, weren't you curious? I think this is the longest I've ever gone without a visit to the Blogger site! I'm so excited to be sitting here, I just can hardly stand it!!

(Sarcasm. I'd rather be folding that big pile of laundry on the bed that is keeping me from sleeping.) (More sarcasm.) (Maybe I'll sleep on the floor.)

So we went to Ohio. Nana, Mommy, Hailey, and Keelyn. We drove the ever-so-familiar 10 hour drive.

Long, long, loooonng drive. I'm pretty sure there was lots of sleeping, so that helped. There was also a long break for dinner in the mountains...and as illustrated above, dancing in the parking lot while wearing hot new shades.

We had a blast. We got time to love with Grandma, time to play with our new baby cousin Caddis, time to run in the big open yard, and around Hailey's "favorite tree" in front of the house. We ate lots of chocolate and cheese, slept peacefully together, and caught up with family.

It only could have been better if Daddy had come.

So, a quick update on other things, and then I'll be back with more pictures and stories soon...

Since coming home:

Kitchen sink broke.

Weird cursing plumber came to fix it, while cursing and knocking things off walls and cursing more. Weird. He had such a potty mouth. HA! Haha! Ha! (Still laughing.) Ha!

Water heater broke when my dear husband was trying to fix the broken sink. (To be fair, he fixes EVERYTHING around here, so the inability to fix the sink, combined with the newly found ability to break the water heater is a new gig for him.)

Funny things Hailey said in the car:

When looking at cows in pastures in Ohio..."Mommy, but are those cows real?"

After hearing us mention the possibility of a skunk...EVERY FIVE MINUTES BETWEEN 11:00pm and 12:00am..."Mommy, what's that smell?" "Do you smell that?" "I think I might smell a skunk." Repeat.

While listening to a Taylor Swift CD..."Mommy, are you singing this song?"..."Yes."..."I can't really hear you. You sound the same." THANK YOU very much, dear child. I know now that I birthed you simply so that I would always have someone along for a ride who could remind me of my fabulousness. Particularly fabulousness that comes with the kind of reverb you get in a closed car with the speakers turned up.

She's a genius. And the cows could have been fake, you never know. And we did smell a skunk.

Pictures and stories to come...

Movies for Monday!

I've been meaning to post videos for a while now, so these span the past couple of months. So, before viewing...

I apologize if these seem boring to you in parts. I did my best to just pick clips that are the ultimate in cuteness and keep them short, but I also needed to document a few things for myself and my kids since I've been slack on the videos lately. Plus, I happen to think that each breath my kids take is the most adorable, incredible, ridiculous thing around, so, there is some bias.

So, there you have it...enjoy!

Love her giggles...


A taste of Keelyn starting to talk...favorite words still include "yeah" and "uh-oh" as heard here...


Hailey likes to help out with Keelyn as much as she can, which often includes doing things that Keelyn doesn't really need help with any longer. Anyway, this is how we ate dinner the other night...

After Hailey's orientation for preschool, she talked all day long about her fun time...but would NOT allow me to video tape it...so here she is telling Andrew, unaware that I have turned the camera on. Note how she refers to the little note her teacher gave her with a lollipop attached as her "orientation"...precious...


Keelyn's favorite game in the kitchen...can last a long time...


This day, Hailey finally decided to continue telling me her story once I turned the camera on. I was so excited to get a good video that illustrates her current use of language and her inflection. This is how she talks all day long, and it still tickles me. FYI, she is talking about taking her kids in the car (on the couch beside her) to a hotel where she is having a hard time getting them to sleep. Sound familiar?...


I like this one for Keelyn's talking a bit, even though I kind of have to coax her along. She is amazing to me at 19 months today. When I'm not behind the camera, she offers up a lot more words...she's extremely conversational, and can name just about everything we see on a daily basis...


And last of our current videos is Keelyn's little dance. She does this a number of times a day...like when she is excited to eat lunch, happy to have a clean diaper, or just plain old happy in general. She will now do it on command if you ask her to show you her jig. She's been doing this since she learned to walk...


You might notice there are a few more of Keelyn than Hailey. A reflection of Hailey's utter refusal to continue on with daily life when a camera emerges lately. She turns into a crazy little goon. Hails, I'm sorry. I wish I'd had my little point and shoot video when you were a baby...and I wish I had this blog...and I wish I had a quick way to pull the nice videos we have from the big old camera off so that they could be posted here...but I don't. Instead, I am re-posting a few at the end here of when Hailey was just a little older than Keelyn is now, because I am in a MOVIE MOOD, and they are so damn cute. Did I mention that already? I spent a lot of time looking through old movies of Hailey a few weeks ago when she started preschool, and I just can't believe it.

So out of the vault, I bring you some singing from Hailey somewhere around 24 months old. So adorable...I can't believe how long ago it was and how it feels like last week. And I can't believe that her baby sister will be singing like this soon. Incredible.

Twinkle Twinkle...


ABC's

Just Getting Started

I think I mentioned that I started couponing recently, and for those outside the coupon crazy world, I thought I'd share some insight since a few people have emailed me with questions.

Until recently, I clipped coupons, made a grocery list, and then went through them to see if anything matched up. If so, great, I'd save a dollar here and there, and felt okay about it. I shopped at Wal-Mart because after Hailey was born, I took the time to compare all of our regular purchases at both Kroger and Wal-Mart, and WallyWorld won out by about $20 per week, making our recent weekly grocery bills about $120-$150, including household items, food, and diapers.

This was pretty much making me sick to my stomach. I hated spending that much each week. I also hated shopping at Wal-Mart. SO...I took a couponing class just a couple of weeks ago from a woman named Su Soutter. I learned a few things.

First of all, I now shop deals online, and make two grocery lists...one for our definite needs, and one for our must-have steals of deals. Those steals mean only shopping with coupons for things when they are on sale, getting the rock-bottom price for those items. The goal is to work to build a stock-pile of non-perishables and household products, so you never have to run to the store to get something at it's highest price, because you are always keeping your home stocked with purchases made at their lowest.

It's not rocket science, but it takes planning and organization. It also takes time. I probably will not be truly cutting my grocery bill in half for a couple of months, as I still have to buy my must haves each week regardless of coupons. But...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and have already saved a TON just from being more mindful of the process. I got myself a big hefty notebook and filled it with baseball card sheets to organize my growing coupon collection, and off I went to the store!

Sorry I don't have any pictures so that you can get a visual of the amount of stuff I've purchased. I promise I'll do that in the coming weeks. But I do want to share my numbers with you, both for my own record, and also to create shock and awe, so that you too, may take three hours a week to get your money's worth.

So here we go. Shock. And. Awe.

Week One:

Kroger total: $276
Kroger spent: $207
Kroger Savings:$69
(I shopped lots of extras for stock-pile purposes this week using coupons I had.)

CVS total: $29
CVS spent: $15
CVS savings: $14

Week Two:

Kroger total: $124
Kroger spent: $89
Kroger savings: $35

RiteAid total: $41
RiteAid spent: $21
RiteAid savings: $20
(this one included a deal where RiteAid had a BOGO on CoverGirl makeup, and I also had a BOGO coupon, so they cancelled each other out, and both items at $6 each were FREE)

HarrisTeeter TRIPLES:
Harris Teeter Total: $56
Harris Teeter spent: $17
Savings: $39!!!!
(I usually plan to just do Kroger and one drug store per week, but can't pass up the triples when they happen.)

So in this past week, I spent at total of $127 for $221 worth of groceries. These are all things we use regularly, and will now allow me to focus on buying the perishable weekly items while saving up on coupons to make my rock-bottom purchases as they come along. This week I will already be able to spend significantly less than our normal bill.

I've been aching for a way to start helping out financially again a bit, and I've found a way to do it! This is just a little mini job I've taken on, but with a mere three hours a week, I can cut our grocery bill in half, which pays me about $20 per hour. Not too shabby.

Caroline Carter sounds famous to me.

So last weekend, we headed to Morehead City, NC for one of my very best friend's weddings. I'll just let this post be a recap, because that's about all I have energy for right now.

Caroline and I danced together our freshman year of college for the NC State dance team...and we literally were best friends after about five minutes of knowing each other. We did everything together in college, including living, eating, drinking, sleeping, and dating.

Andrew and I met because he lived in the same apartment building as us, on the first floor. He later moved into a different apartment in the same building, and one of his roommates was Chad, who Caroline then began dating. And now, eight freakin' long years later, she and Chad finally tied the knot. Meanwhile, Drew and I got married (Caroline was my maid of honor), and had two children.

This is completely out of chronological order, but should you decide to read no further because you do not know Caroline and Chad or care to hear about our weekend at the beach, I felt I had to share this one picture to brighten your day. Hysterical.
So I headed down in the morning on Friday for a luncheon with the ladies...here is Caroline's big huge bridal party...the restaurant was on the water in Beaufort. Beautiful place.Later that day, Andrew and my mom brought the kids down, and my mom stayed with them for the weekend in the hotel as Andrew and I trotted off from one event to the next. Here we are at the rehearsal dinner and after party. I can't remember the last time someone took a picture of us when we weren't wearing dirty t-shirts. It was a nice evening.Being the detail person that she is, Caroline thought of everything, even for the kids. She had personalized buckets waiting for them, filled with sand toys and goodies to play with for the weekend. Hailey loved the sunglasses.See...even their shovels had the appropriate touches!Big bucket for Keeks to fill...though she did.The hotel had a pier, and though my time was limited, I did manage to squeeze in a lunch with the family on Saturday in between breakfast at the salon and getting ready at the church.The kids loved the pier, and walked each of us up and down numerous times. Then Mom and Drew got to play with the kids for a while at the two pools.It was an awesome hotel.Unfortunately, if you hadn't already noticed, I only took my point and shoot camera. Just too much to lug around and keep track of with the other when I was supposed to be doing things other than taking pictures. But this one is still nice for the detail on her dress. Caroline was stunning.The reception was at a beach club, and so much fun. They had a great band, great food, and lots of room for dancing.We also got to catch up with some friends whom we haven't seen in ages. It was so nice. Melissa, I do respect the jazz hands, darling.Like how Brandon and Brandi as a couple are each about six inches taller than us? (And I am even wearing 3 1/2 inch heels!) I need to remember to do this sitting down next time!Now, my mom swears that the kids were wild all evening both nights in the hotel room, but when we got home, this is what we found, so I have absolutely no idea what she was talking about. (Yes I do. The second they are in a hotel room, they instantly lose one half of all brain cells. They run around like monkeys.) (And when I say "they" I mostly mean Keelyn.) (Keelyn is a monkey.) (Mom is a saint.) (Thank you Mom, for keeping them alive.)
There were lots of other really great details...the theme was coral, and the colors were coral red and turquoise blue, and those things touched every piece of everything. They had a beautiful red and blue candy bar for guests to fill boxes with their names on them as favors. The wedding party got to ride in a red London tour bus from the wedding to the reception. (I rode on the top, which is so unlike me, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity with the warm beachy air...and we only went about ten miles an hour, so it was fine.) Their first and last names now all start with "C", so there were "c's" on everything. The girls wore turquoise dresses, and Caroline gave each of us a red parasol that we held in photos on the beach. I can't wait to see the professional photos when they are done. Should be beautiful.

It was a joyful day, and I was so happy to be a part of it and to share in a beautiful ceremony and celebration to follow.

The weekend was a great chance for us to get out of Raleigh as a family for a bit too, even though it was a little disjointed. Sunday offered beautiful weather, and lots of peaceful play on the beach one last time this season before heading home.

A Brand New Day.

So obviously yesterday was a low point for us, and the good news about low points is, they are usually followed by a higher one.

When we woke up this morning, I kid you not, Hailey's first words were, "Mommy, today I am going to be nice the whole day." And just like that, she was.

We laughed, we got dressed with ease, we ate breakfast in peace, we sang on the car ride to preschool, we happily chatted through lunch, we napped like bears in winter, we played dance class and rock band and baby dolls all afternoon, enjoyed our dinner, went for an evening stroll, and cheerfully said our bed time prayers. It was not just better than yesterday. It was the complete opposite.

I'm so happy for her. So happy for this day. I guess to some extent, we needed to ride this out. It was a predictable hurdle, and in many ways, maybe there was nothing to be done about it other than let her feel her emotions, and move on. Still, I have to believe there are coping mechanisms to be learned, in hopes of helping minimize this type of drama in the future. There have been other rough patches when I've felt that as things got better, maybe the tough times were behind us, but they keep coming back. There's a pattern, and I feel like I need to help her manage it now, so that she can handle what life throws at her in the future. Maybe there are preemptive tactics I can use to help reduce rigidity a bit more, and help her learn to channel her frustration differently so that the mini bad days aren't so bad, and the major bad days aren't so major.

For now though, I am going to turn off the computer and enjoy the peaceful, blissful feeling this day has left me with. This day makes yesterday okay. This day lets me know she'll be fine. This day gives me the energy to breathe.

I love my Hailey so much. I even love her when she's in the middle of a raging tantrum. But I see that frustration, and I feel helpless as her mother, and I want to help her. It's so good to see the little butterfly she was today, flitting around the house without a care.

Not So Delicious

It's one of those days that leaves me with nothing but tears in the end. Somehow, writing about it always helps. The big kid just has some issues. She has trouble adjusting to new things. You might remember I mentioned my prediction of an impending explosion of emotions at home following the start of preschool. Today, I'm afraid, was the climax.

I'm struggling a bit with the whole blogging thing right now. Lately, I feel like Hailey is getting old enough to deserve some (more) privacy than she's had to date via the blog. She's becoming more and more her own person, and I don't want to exploit that. Unless of course, it's for the sake of some good laughs at her undeniable cuteness. But that wasn't today, so, bleh.

Anyway. I'll let this mostly be about me. But first, her.

She has trouble with change. She has trouble with unpredictable things. She has trouble not being in control of a situation. We've learned that some of this is due to a sensory processing disorder, for which we have gotten help, and continue to address. Also, some of it is not. Some of it is her temperament. She's quick to be frustrated. Quick to react. Her reactions are bigger than most. She feels everything. This has been true since birth, obvious since one year old, and a consistent parenting challenge for me throughout her life.

It might sound weird, but despite how difficult these things make days like today, in the end, I feel so much sadness for her. Sure the tantrums wear me out. Sure I'll spend the rest of my evening second-guessing every split second decision I made in the midst of a day full of tears. But in the end, I feel like I've failed her. Here I am, dedicating every minute of my life to my kids, and I've yet to help her find a successful coping mechanism to help her through a normal day.

I mean, I am living to love her. I am a present parent. I am active. I do my research. I serve her fruits and vegetables. I take this seriously.

And yet, there are too many triggers to list. Too many tantrums to ignore.

There are too many times to count that I have poured her milk, and she has thrown a fit on the floor in the kitchen about the cup it is in. And I don't mean two minutes of whining before she gives in and drinks it anyway. This has been happening for years. I've never backed down. There's no reason for her to think this time I will. Yet, if it's not what she expected, it throws her...and that's how she copes. If things aren't as she expects...as she predicts them to be...she suffocates.

We do cool down time outs. We do time outs with warnings. We do a positive reinforcement sticker chart. We do special alone time daily with Mommy or Daddy or both. We remind her to use her words. We redirect. We ignore. We use these things consistently.

Still somehow, she's left feeling low enough in her self-confidence to bring these things on. Some of it has to do with sibling stuff, despite my constant efforts to keep things fair and encourage play both together and alone. She adores Keelyn, and usually plays very nicely with her...but on days like today, I can just tell she's competing for something, she's controlling things, she's feeling threatened. My sweetest of voices, my warmest of hugs...nothing helps. And when there are fits of frustration and screaming, it takes my every effort to keep things sweet and warm.

And then there are the tantrums. I can tell the difference between the sensory fits and the others. We've really gotten pretty good at working through the sensory stuff. It's a team effort. She understands enough about her feelings to rationalize with us, and we understand her needs, and we get through it. It's the others that wear us out. It's the others that go on and on. It's difficult for me to put into words, how they are separate yet related. It's all part of who she is. How do I help her while applying my empathy for understanding that she comes to each day feeling overwhelmed on a regular basis? Imagine how difficult that would be. How do I discipline without breaking her spirit? How do I create a healthier environment for her, Keelyn, and myself on a daily basis?

I'm spent. I'm all out. We're past the obvious. She needs help with this, and obviously it's my job to provide that. I guess we need help with this. She's almost four years old. She should be happier. And she is happy. She has a happy life. She laughs a lot. She dances every day. She wants for nothing. But where is the disconnect? She should know how much love we have for her. Sometimes I feel like she just doesn't know. Like she's trying to get more. And for now, that love is coming in the form of tears.

Tears of exhaustion from a day when I could have done better. A day when I could have helped her more, but didn't know how. A day when I tried, but still feel at a loss. She's my child, and if I can't help her, who will? How will she find a way to channel her emotions differently? Where will this leave the feelings in her wonderful heart tonight as she goes to sleep?

Don't pity me here, please. I am looking for constructive comments only. Book suggestions, tricks and methods you use at home, or maybe an evening cocktail you find suitable for washing such heavy stuff away. After all, I've gotta sleep so I can face tomorrow.

Hailey's First Day of Preschool

Hailey's first day of preschool was wonderful. We got up this morning, ate a special monkey-bread breakfast, and got dressed so carefully. She was excited from the moment she woke up...a little bummed that our schedule could no longer include the slow moving time frame she's used to, but excited nonetheless.
Keelyn would NOT look at the camera for a photo this morning, so there you go. Her feet were just too interesting. Also, I think she was already protesting the whole preschool thing, as I would later learn she was not so happy about the new situation.

Hailey insisted I get a photo of her backpack, and just as I took it, she popped out from behind making a silly face. It's rare that I find this amusing when I'm taking pictures on our way out the door, but it was pretty funny. AND, a photo of the backpack alone would not have made the blog.

So when we got there, I realized I needed just one more picture right before entering the building, and I took one with my phone...I think it's actually the cutest of them all. Just look at her, you know?

Though Hailey seemed to be handling things well, it was a difficult transition for Keelyn and myself. Hailey walked right on in the room, put her stuff down, said hello to the teacher, pointed out her ruffly socks, and went on her merry way. She gave me a big hug, and in a moment of trying to leave the room so the next kid could come in, combined with a moment of Hailey being excited and getting going, Keelyn did not also get a hug.

BIG MISTAKE.

I should have known better. When we take Hailey to ballet, the goodbye kisses continue flying through the air until the door is closed between them. When they're reunited, it's like they're long lost lovers from 20 years ago, who've been desperately searching for one another, and against all odds, their Evil Mother loses out and they are able to be together once more.

Anyway, I wasn't thinking.

As we walked through the hall to leave, Keelyn reached across my back yelling "HaLei, HaLei, HaLei!!" (She sounds like a mobster from the Bronx when she says Hailey's name...that's the best spelling I can come up with...the "H" is mostly silent, and the second syllable gets the inflection.) Her voice grew more and more desperate as we left, and when we exited the building, she started screaming. By the time we got to the car, I was crying as well. I thought I could hold it together, but Keelyn's sadness pushed me over the edge.

Keelyn literally did not go longer than five minutes over the course of the whole three hours without asking for Hailey. Even during our Little Gym class...she'd ask me to pick her up instead of participating, and then ask for her sister. I don't think the poor kid enjoyed herself at all. I guess we both had a little empty sadness this morning.

But, Hailey had so much fun, and has been telling stories about what she did all afternoon. I'm so proud of my big girl. Keelyn got a big hug just like me when we picked Hailey up, and she was back to her normal self. It's obviously going to be an adjustment, but we'll get there.

For now, everyone is exhausted. The evening has been filled with a few extra tears, a few extra hugs, and some sugar-coated reassurance. Soon this will be the new normal, and we'll happily roll on.

The Night Before...

Tonight feels different than regular nights. There's anticipation. Excitement. The feeling of newness on the horizon.

I took my time with Hailey. We cleaned her room, talked about mermaids, brushed her hair, and picked out clothes for tomorrow. It's a big day, and she wants to be ready.

As we snuggled in her bed to read stories, I felt myself clinging to her every little breath, listening and watching the way she said every word. The way she moves her hands when she's telling a story. The way her eyes roll around when she's concentrating. The way she smacks her tongue on the roof of her mouth when she's stalling to grab another thought. It's as if somehow, tomorrow she'll change forever, and I needed to imprint in my mind, exactly how she is right now.

As she sings herself to sleep across the hall, I wish I could lie with her and savor this last night before the big day. I know I'd keep her awake though, because the kid can talk about mermaids forever when there's someone to talk to. The key is leaving her alone, so she eventually bores herself to dreams.

So instead, I'll just sit here and listen.

Listen to my kid who's been all mine until now. Mine to mold. Mine to teach. Mine to share the day with. I have so many moments I'm proud of, and so many moments I'm not. So many moments I'd like to have over again, for so many different reasons.

She's an amazing kid though, and whether I had anything to do with that or not, I know she'll bring happiness to all new people soon. And, if I'm being honest, I already can't wait to pick her up at lunch time, even though we've still got the morning together. I can't wait to hear about her day. I can't wait to get that hug.

Corner Office with a View

And he was all, You're totally not gonna blog about this, are you?

And I was all, Umm...Yeah!
(I show you this picture so that you can note a few things...one, the window, two, the diplomas...we take this very seriously, and three, Andrew's obvious enthusiasm for my picture taking.)

(There is more office, like shelves of paperwork and material samples and file drawers behind him, but I'll spare you...mostly because I am not able to physically stand back far enough in the closet to take a picture.)

(You did notice that's a closet, right?)

It's hard to believe it was only two months ago that Andrew left his old job to start his own business. You might remember I was freaking out about a few things at that time...namely, the amazing mess of things we then had to house and move around in order for him to have an office at home.

But, we've managed to do it. The amazing thing...more amazing than the mess itself, and how cleaned up it now is...is that we are both still alive. I mean, seriously. Let's stress ourselves out with a new enormous debt, a risk most people are terrified to take in this economy, and two little mouths to feed...AND THEN LET'S MOVE FURNITURE. If you are married, you know what I'm talking about.

But, we managed to keep a sense of humor, and we made it through.

That's assuming our attic floor doesn't fall through. I'll keep you posted.

We donated enormous amounts of our closet, added new (completely piece-mealed from stuff we already had) shelves in our laundry room, and filed away tons and tons of papers. It's also very funny now to watch us access our clothes and put an outfit together, since things are all spread around wherever they fit, and nothing is in its place.

BUT. Andrew has an office. It even has a window! He was really skeptical about my idea in the beginning, but now he thinks nothing of closing the door, opening the blinds, and blaring some music while he works until all hours of the night. The master closet has never served a more important role.

And that's what I call getting your money out of your real estate. I mean really, what girl really needs a place to keep her shoes? (Please don't answer that.)

So that's what we did with all the stuff. Oh, and he has a storage unit where some stuff went too. You know, like his big huge trailer, his monster sized mower that can mow our front yard in about three passes, and some other pretty impressive equipment as well. The man means business, and he's getting it done.

Oh - and if you are interested in what we started with, here's a video of the mess about mid-cleaning. We had already moved some things around in our closet and emptied it out quite a bit, but you get the idea of what we were working with. I'm pretty sure we could move mountains.


And double-Oh - I started couponing (saved $70 today!), which means I started stock-piling, which means we need even more storage space, which means you can now barely find the dryer when you open the laundry room door. But the good news is, we have enough Goldfish and laundry detergent to feed an army. If you can find an army that eats detergent.

Preschool Orientation for the Little People

So Hailey walked right in her preschool classroom with a smile on her face, and did NOT even look back at me to wave goodbye. Not even an over-the-shoulder, check-to-see-which-way-I-went, maybe-looking-for-a-smile-of-reassurance-so-Mommy-doesn't-freak-out glance. I mean, the kid could at least throw me a glance, don't you think? I think I'm supposed to be happy about that. That she was so interested in where she was going, she didn't look back. Right? I was. I had about 30 seconds of that feeling in the pit of my stomach like I could fall to the floor and cry (similar to the feeling I get when I do anything new with her, as you might recall with Disney on Ice...I'm a sap with a capitol S), and then I realized THIS IS AWESOME. These were the GOOD kind of butterflies I was feeling.

A mama couldn't be MORE PROUD. She's awesome.
Last night, Andrew and I went to the school to meet her teacher, and we liked her immediately. She's organized, well spoken, and obviously has her stuff together. She's also warm and smiley and just like a preschool teacher should be. We got home and told Hailey all about her. Hailey was awake until after 10pm...in bed...excited for today.

She held my hand tight as we approached the classroom, but I could see in her eyes that she was fine. That was all the assurance she needed. Just a few moments of hand-holding, before she followed a teacher into the room, never to look back. Thankfully, I got that big huge happy hug I'd been hoping for when she came out. There's nothing like that hug...even if it's only been an hour. It's a hug of thank goodness you're here, a hug of I can't wait to tell you what I did, a hug of I'm so proud of myself, and a hug of I love you and you are the only person I want to be hugging right now. It really doesn't get better than that. And, if we have to do this whole leaving the nest routine, then at least there's that upon return.

In the car on the way home, I didn't even have to think of the right questions to ask. She offered with an excitement that was palpable, adorable, contagious and refreshing, all wrapped up in her tiny big girl body, a story, which included the following... I learned that she colored, and then when she was done with that, she decided she wanted to play with the kitchen, but a girl took away her cake, and she tried to get it back, but she couldn't, so then she ate a pretend sandwich..."Mommy, do I still need to eat lunch?"...and then it was time to sit on the stars and listen to a story, and they all had to sit criss-cross applesauce, but some of the kids got off their stars, but she didn't because Ms. Kristine told them to sit on their stars, and then a bear sat on a chair and broke it...in the story...and then they got stamps and lollipops and a big bee gave me a hug and a kiss...A BIG BEE!!! and then we came out to see the parents...and...AND...(prepare yourself)..."Mommy, I wish I could stay at school for longer."

So, I'm pretty sure I got a full report. I'm also pretty sure I won't always, but I was so thankful for one today. I feel like I didn't miss a beat of her new little experience. Make that big experience. HUGE. I loved listening to the time she had through her own lips, based on her own perspective. And there you have it. She's a preschooler. And my word. She's almost FOUR.

I can't wait to see how she grows with this. I can't wait to see how she learns to be her own little independent self. I can't wait to hear her stories on the car ride home each day, as she recalls the good, the bad, and the imaginary sandwiches. I still feel just how I did when we first found this school in January, and I love knowing she is in a safe, loving, nurturing environment where she can flourish. Sad as it is for me to let go...and as upset as I've been in anticipation...this is a wonderful thing, and I know it is so important for her. It's a first step in becoming Hailey in a way she hasn't had the opportunity to do so before. It was a big step, and she took it in stride. My graceful, happy little girl.

Oh, and in an effort to prove that she also is striving for new and great things, Keelyn wore a bow today. Shh. She has no idea that she has no hair.