Snow day.

We love living in an area where the climate means snow may or may not happen each time it's predicted, sometime between October and April. And we love that when it does happen, it is novel, and fun, and whether two or twelve inches, the whole city shuts down.

What a great day, spent mostly getting the kids dressed and undressed in their many layers, with a few moments for sledding in between.

This was Keelyn's rather permanent expression throughout her outside time today. Not a huge fan of the cold this year, but a trooper for the sake of the rest of us. In her defense, it was sleeting in her face, and I don't blame her for preferring a good book inside by the fire. And she complained about her feet for about five minutes before I realized she'd put her shoes on the wrong ones. See?
Hailey, on the other hand, was pulling every trick she could think of just for five more minutes of snow time. This was her permanent expression. She gleefully ran around the yard by herself with a huge grin. Throwing snow, sliding down the hill on her bum, and filling the "ice sickle trash can" with as much snow as possible. She had a ball.

Big Girl Bed!

Keelyn has been throwing fits about sleeping in other people's beds around here for a while now, so we finally decided she was ready to have one of her own. I was a little nervous, as she still protests bed time once in a while...and each time I asked her if she wanted her own big girl bed, she would respond with "crib."

But we bought one anyway...and look how happy she was!!
She couldn't wait to climb in and test it out.

And she's never had a more exciting story time, than this one, sitting on the brink of her first night in her new bed.
We never heard a peep, and she was fast asleep an hour later when we checked on her. I had all kinds of visions of hours upon hours of screaming kid at gate while Mommy loses her mind...but I was wrong. She loves her new bed, and her big girl responsibility to sleep in it.

When we were getting it all set up, she brought me a book we have called "Winter Babies Wear Layers"...a favorite of hers. And she said with a glint of a tear in her eye, "not baby any moe, cain't wead it?" But upon my quick comfort to her that she would always be a winter baby and we could read it for as long as she wants, she was back in her new bed, reading away.

I have to admit, I too cried a bit at this transition. Just seeing her climb right in and feel so happy and cozy...that's what I wanted for her...but it's just proof that she's ready for this...ready to be a big girl.

And just for fun, since I wasn't blogging back then, here are some photos of Hailey when she first got her bed.

She did equally well with the transition, climbing right in and sleeping like a champ.

For Hailey's second birthday, she got new bedding and a rearranged bedroom with big girl furniture and decor. Keelyn will get the same for her second in a few weeks. Pictures of both to come...

At the Little Gym

Last fall when Hailey started preschool, Keelyn and I started a class at The Little Gym. I did the same thing with Hailey when she was little, and it was a great way for us to get out and do something fun on a regular basis with regular people. I can tell you with great confidence that neither of my kids enjoys hanging from bars, turning upside-down, or walking on beams...when it is asked of them and someone is watching. They both have perfect monkey grip and can latch onto clothing, skin, or even an eyebrow in the event that I might encourage a flip over a bar while the teacher is spotting.

BUT, give Keelyn a little space, and she's a regular monkey. She can gallop on the high beam, people. It was such a joy for me to see her do something independent. I learned just how much she needs me, despite her desire to do it all on her own at home. I learned how she relates to other little ones her age by letting them go first, and watching what's around her. I learned that she really loves being recognized by her teacher...Miss Elise did wonders for her little developing self-esteem. And I also learned that she loves music, and parachutes, and bean bags, and bells a whole lot more than the parallel bars. So, we won't be going back this time, which makes me sad for the loss of a good teacher, but I found that Keelyn enjoyed the cuddle time and songs with Mommy just as much at the library program...something I also did regularly with Hailey, but have struggled to find time for in our now busy schedule. We're making time now, and she loves it.

Anyway, the gym was great...and here are some highlights from her "show" on the last day...

My very favorite part of every single week was seeing her face as she ran back to me after picking up or putting away a toy. Especially if all the kids were jumbled and she had to look around a little to find me. The excitement in her eyes was breathtaking.
Even though she didn't enjoy doing a lot of the "assigned" activities, she loved finding things to climb on and explore.

And she loved the balls.

Here she is getting her ribbon with her teacher. A little shy about being up on the stand with people clapping...but she was SO proud of herself.

You can see the excitement in her expression as she showed Hailey when we came home.

And again with Daddy.

What a sweet, sweet girl. I'm so glad we did this together and exposed her to something that challenged her. If you catch her jumping, or practicing her forward rolls, she'll tell you, "Gym. 'Lise. At The Little Gym...".

It's all gone.

The Big Everything Kid Consignment Sale in our area happened last week, and we sold everything. Everything.

All of our big baby gear like high chairs and bassinets...GONE. In fact, I got so carried away that we now have no stroller, and will need to make a purchase. Looking for something a little more practical than what we had...you know, for The Big Girl. The one who's outgrown all that stuff we sold.

We didn't sell any clothes yet, but quite a few toys. We also learned that Andrew has just as much difficulty parting with things as I do. While he laughed at my emotional melt down about selling our exersaucer, there were plenty of rattles and tiny plush toys he simply could not part with when it came to labeling them with a price tag. It's just not worth giving away something sentimental for two dollars, when it will only take up a tiny corner in the attic. After all, there might be some grandchildren in a few decades who would enjoy them. Bite me, Peter Walsh.

Meanwhile, I made out like a bandit. Over thirty clothing pieces, plus a little puzzle game for each of the kids all for just over $100. All in great condition, some new with tags. AND I found a leotard WITH tutu for EACH of them. Score. Seriously, you can't beat $3 for a cute little sun dress or a skirt that provokes prolonged spinning.The money we made from our sales will cover those purchases, a small stroller for errands, as well as the big girl bed Keelyn is moving into over the next couple of days. In fact, it's already teasing her next to her crib as she sleeps. She can't wait.

Catching up from 2009: Little Chickies

We have paintings all around our home that my grandmother created over many years. We have oil paintings of mountains in Montana, a water color of the mill near my grandparent's house in Michigan, various depictions of flowers she loves, and black and whites using a format she created, and has gained recognition for...a secret she's passed on only to her grandchildren. She's created comical art, simple art, and interpretive art. Way back before Martha Stewart taught people fun and easy ways to make a cookie cutter craft, she was creating her own ways to do various things from making her own paper, to making hilarious looking life-sized dolls out of stockings (I'm remembering one in particular who used to sit by the front window and scare the daylights out of me when I was little). Anyway, the point is that each piece we have is a piece of her, and we treasure it. We love having it in every room of our house. In fact, I have a painting I adore with no place to put it...just one more reason we need a bigger house!

This year at Christmas, she took a painting she did many, many years ago, when she was just learning to be comfortable with the brush, and she cut it up. She had a few little chickies, as she calls them, and she cut them apart so that each of her three little granddaughters could have one of her own. They're each a little different, but all came from the same piece, and it was just such a special gift for the girls.

Keelyn's is left. Hailey's is right.

Don't judge her. Curly hair is hard to manage.

What is she doing? You might wonder.
See Hailey? She was wondering too.
Hairdo. She'd tell you.

See?

And another day.
In fact, hairdo, is a regular old thing around here. Ain't she perrrty?

I'm pretty sure I'm back.

So in case you were wondering, yes, the people in my house have been sick this whole time. It's been an entire week of sickness. As it seems, both little ones contracted RSV. Hailey's turned into croup, and then an ear infection. This involved steamy showers and all sorts of other nighttime horror... like her drool on my pillow. She ran a fever for about four days, and still has a little cough. Keelyn's turned into bronchiolitis. This involved lots of nastiness from the mouth and nose, which also spent time on my pillow. Today was day five of her fever, though it was much lower than the near 104 she hit a few days ago.

BUT.

(Pause while I debate over whether or not I should actually type this...)

Both kids are asleep in their own beds right now, and based on the patterns of past nights, I'm thinkin' they're staying!! I don't even hear any coughing. Or moaning. Or come get me right now, Mommy.

And before you go feeling all bad for them, you should know that being sick meant many not so bad things. Like we fulfilled every four year old girl's dream of watching Cinderella exactly 358 times. And Keelyn, who turns into the googly-eyed monster every morning when it's time to take off her jammies, got to stay in them for like FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT. And all I can say is thank goodness for Noggin at 3am. And unlimited orange juice. And lots of snuggle time together. And feet in my face every morning when I woke up, regardless of which child was in our bed...or even better...one night it was both...and there were feet for Andrew too. This is why you have more than one child, I'm quite certain.

So now of course there is laundry to fold, there are bills to pay, there are toys to clean up, and just general catch up on things that went left undone during The Week On The Couch. I also have about 500 blog posts I'd like to write, so don't be surprised if there's an update each day this week. I know, I know, it's a lot...but I think you can handle it.

Shiver shiver, Cough cough

This week just happens to mark the one year anniversary of when Hailey had a febrile seizure last January. She also just happens to be on day two of running a super high fever. The worry is exhausting. The cuddle time is delightful.

Anyway, I'll be back when she's all better. For now, nite-nite.

Catching up from 2009: Part Next

In all the Hubbub of The Holidays, some cute kid moments got lost in the place on my computer that also hides my socks when Andrew does laundry. I just need to get them up here on the blog now or I know it will be never, hence my multiple "catch up 2009" posts, which seem to be offering a nice little window into what happens around here when people aren't actually posing for the camera or doing something so amazing that it must be posted immediately or my head will explode.

The girls have always played well together, but in the last three months or so, I feel like they're inseparable. One comes up with an idea, the other follows, and next thing you know, they're cooking dinner.

If he can do it, so can I

The morning was filled with the normal giggles, snuggles and such that always come with the knowledge of a time to relax on a Saturday. It was a bit of a difficult morning for Hailey, following our first week back to the grind, feeling the weight of the lost sleep and extra stress. We split the kid duties, the two of us... Daddy took Keelyn.
In time, Keelyn emerged from her room diapered, dressed, and brushed. Drew had also found a moment to put himself together. Hailey and I worked through her stress with some extra cuddling in bed, and also emerged, a little later, similarly well dressed in clothes she selected for herself. I believe the get-up involved a combination of reds and pinks and browns and blacks and every other color combination one is not supposed to blend, all topped off with Christmas socks and a plaid bow. I threw myself together, looking equally mismatched though with different intentions no doubt, and we were out the door.
As we piled into the car, coats tucked carefully into car seats, gloves already being pulled off, and shoes kicking to beg for music before we could find the keys, I heard my husband say "I feel like I've really accomplished something today." It was about 10:00am, and the great accomplishment he was referring to was getting the little one dressed. He even did her shoes and coat!

Though it may seem at first glance that I'm mocking him, I'm really not at all. The sense of accomplishment was admirable. I realized, I'd walked out of the house feeling defeated. Upset that Hailey had had a tough morning, rather than focused on the fact that I'd helped her through it. And I'll be damned if I don't get both kids dressed all the way to their shoes and coats nearly every morning all by myself by 8:30.

All by myself. By 8:30. And on a good day, they're even smiling.

This is amazing. Literally, every single morning, it's a miracle. The fact that people leave my house clothed at all is a miracle. Yet it takes a morning like today, where we had an insanely dirty diaper mess, followed by a tub mess, followed by a child who decided as we were ready to walk out the door that she needed to completely undress and change clothes...tights and all...that I feel like I've really accomplished anything at all. And then, I'm too exhausted to care.

I suppose this is the curse of motherhood. The feeling that we're never good enough. That what we do will never be... enough.

For me, it's that I'm never patient enough, never funny enough, never quick enough, never organized enough. And all that is silliness, when it's stacked up against why it's such a rewarding job to be a mommy.

Tonight, Keelyn crawled up on my bed with a book, called me into the room, and said "cuddle." This is how she wanted to end the day. And Hailey, well she helped me through the dirty diaper disaster, the tub cleaning, and the getting re-dressed after undressing from already being dressed in perfectly good clothes incident. And she gave me so many kisses during the day that my cheeks ache a bit as they await another fix in the morning. And as I rubbed Keelyn's itsy-bitsy thigh while we read, she looked at me and said, "thank you," and it occurred to me that it's not all lost on them. They appreciate it. They are good kids. They help. They listen. They love.

For goodness sake, they give me perspective. And maybe if they're dressed at all, and if they know how to love each other, and they know I love them... maybe I won't break them, maybe they'll forgive my ill organization on the tough days, maybe once in a while I can make them laugh, and maybe that's enough.

Catching up from 2009: Part One

If all is quiet, you can undoubtedly find Keelyn playing with dolls, a doll house, or both. She is super nurturing. See? She even shares her snacks!
So we got her a doll house of her own for Christmas...

And now the kids have their own little neighborhood!

I don't think I've said it enough lately. Sisters are the best.

Hours of entertainment. Right there in my hallway.

And I love her too

As the sunlight crept in over our bed through the blinds, I felt her body begin to stir. She moved closer to me, delicately rubbing the button of my nightshirt between her finger and thumb. She moved her lovies to touch my face, and then hers. I opened my eyes to see hers looking back at me, waiting. Wide and hazel.

She pressed her nose against mine, took a deep breath, and in the few moments before letting it out with a sigh, she turned her eyes to the side a bit, and said, "I love you...Mommy." It was slow, like she was really concentrating on getting the words out, putting them together in just the right way. Like watching the sun rise over the open ocean, each second it carefully reaches a bit more toward the sky as we anticipate the beauty of what comes next. The most beautiful thing the world has to offer, sharing my pillow. Out came her breath, and then as she took another one, she repeated it, as if she knew that it would make me melt all over again and perhaps more to hear it a second time around.

I hugged her tight, not knowing how to physically reciprocate what she had just done for me as we started our day. In that instant, I was overwhelmed with love for this child. It was like the moment she was born. Or the moment she first smiled at me. This amazing little person I had lying next to me, sharing a moment, knowing neither one of us would rather be in any other place.
It's as if I can't make a moment go slowly enough to even pay attention any more, even as I cling to each one. She wants to be just like her big sister, and that means turning four before she's flown by two and hit up some three, and I just can't believe it, even as I watch.
Last week, she used the potty after telling me on her own that she needed to do so more than once. And we painted her toenails. And tomorrow I'll be taking her out for driving lessons.

Something's missing, and so I vent

This year, as always, the day after Christmas I was ready for the decorations to come down, and have the house back to normal. It never fails...I want them up the day after Thanksgiving, and I can't wait to see all the lights twinkle. To make Christmas cookies. To smell the yule tide. But then it starts to close in. It becomes too much, and by the time you add Santa's bounty, the house is ready for a major simplistic make-over as of December 26th.

We left everything up until yesterday, because despite my itchin' to get it cleaned up, taking things down before the first just doesn't settle well with any of us. Hailey HAD to have the tree up so that she could look at it while she enjoyed her fondue on New Year's Eve. No clue why, but that was a must. I'm assuming way down deep there's a memory from last year, and so it is tradition.
We spent the whole morning boxing up ornaments and vacuuming needles. Hailey helped, as if she'd had enough of it all too for now. Keelyn cried a bit with the confusion, and insisted on kissing every Jesus, Joseph and Mary before putting them away in their neat little cases. And I know that sounds like a distasteful phrase, but I mean it literally...no baby Jesus went unkissed. This was crucial to maintaining her sanity through the process.

My sanity, on the other hand, is questionable. This year, for the first year, it didn't bring relief. Our house still feels full. You still can't open the coat closet or a kitchen cupboard without something jumping out and attacking you. There are still toys to step on everywhere we turn. But there are no lights. No "Ooohhh!!!" from Keelyn as we walk down the steps each morning, and she appreciates it all over again. No incessant requests from Hailey to wind up every snowglobe and allow them all to play music at the same time so that you can't actually hear a single one.

We drove past a house that still had decorations out this morning. The kids hearts jumped out of their chests as Keelyn yelled, "Santa Caus! 'Notha one! Found it!," and Hailey said "Frosty, Mommy, they still have their Frosty out!" Next year it will all be exciting again, and it's not lost on me that the reason it's all so exciting is because Frosty and Santa take a 10 month break each year before reemerging. But still. I'll miss hearing their delight. I'll miss that certain inflection in each of their voices that will have changed by the time next Christmas roles around.

In light of still having absolutely no space at all, as in you could not even fit an extra fruit fly in our house if you needed a place to let yours sleep for the night, I am finally forcing myself to slowly rid of the baby stuff. I just posted our double stroller (which has been sitting unused in our dining room for about 5 months now), and our exersaucer and high chair (which make it difficult to shove the attic door closed as we put our Christmas decorations away) on Craig's List. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I know we are lucky to have an attic to shove things in, in the first place. I'm just sharing my thoughts. Honestly, if we had a bigger attic, I'd never consider getting rid of this stuff right now. Though they are just things, they are tangible pieces of a life that is slipping away from our reality. Hailey and Keelyn aren't those people any more, and next year, they won't be these people, you know? But in my heart, I know that I need to be present and appreciate the people they are right now. To be here for them the way they need me right now.

And I am, but getting rid of these things makes my heart ache a bit. It's just not in my genes to be good at this. And those are just baby steps. I also have a swing, a bumbo seat, a carseat, a bath tub, a bassinet, and bouncy seat, a single stroller, and a whole, whole, whole freakin' lot of adorable, cute, memory making little girl clothes that I don't know how to part with.

I guess I don't know why I'm saving all this stuff. We haven't got the space or the use for it. If another baby joins our family at some point, there will be new stuff to buy. But it won't play the same silly little songs that soothed our kids, and it won't slide up next to my bed just so like the bassinet did, and it won't bring back familiar memories I so loved about reusing things the second time around. But then, we're very happy just the four of us. And so maybe that's okay.

And if I keep saying so, and watching myself type it on the keyboard, maybe it really will be.

I mean, just look at these lovely people I rang in the new year with... 2010 could really be nothing but fabulous.